Jennifer Lopez Gets Honest About Past Abusive Relationships, Her Biggest Fear and Ben Affleck’s Forgiveness in New Doc

Jennifer Lopez is ready to tell “the truth about my personal life.”

Lopez’s new documentary, The greatest love story never told, is about the making of the singer’s latest album (This is me now) and corresponding film (This is me… now: a love story), both draw heavily from her romance with Ben Affleck and their many high-profile relationships between them.

“I have been married four times. I’m sure people watching from the sidelines thought, ‘What’s wrong with this girl?’” Lopez says as she opens the documentary. “What I portrayed to the world was, ‘Oh, this didn’t work out, and it’s okay, and I’m okay, and they’re good, and they were great, and I was great’ and all of that was kind of bullshit. ***.”

Naturally, Affleck is a big part of the documentary, sometimes to her reluctance, but his presence is instrumental in helping Lopez show a vulnerable side that fans have never seen before.

Here are some of the biggest moments from his new documentary.

Affleck is uncomfortable being Lopez’s ‘muse’ – but when they got back together, he had to ‘compromise’

The documentary takes its name from a book of love letters Affleck made to Lopez. For their first Christmas together, Affleck gifted Lopez a book with “every letter and every email” they wrote to each other. It is titled The greatest love story never told. Includes material from 2001 and 2021 “and counting”.

Lopez explains, “There’s a personal story of Ben and I that’s never been told. I don’t think he’s very comfortable with me doing all this. But he loves me, he knows I’m an artist, he’ll support me in any way he can.” can, because he knows he can’t stop me from making the music I made and writing the words I wrote.”

While Affleck “doesn’t want” to stop her, Lopez says, “that doesn’t mean he’s comfortable being the muse.”

Lopez allowed songwriters to read personal letters as inspiration for her album This is me nowwhich came as a surprise to Affleck.

“Jen was really inspired by this experience, which is how artists do their work,” says Affleck. “As a writer and director, I certainly do the same things. But private things I have always considered sacred and special because, in part, they are private. So that was kind of an adjustment for me.

When they rekindled their romance after two decades apart, Affleck initially told Lopez to keep her private life private.

“The catalyst for [our breakup] it was this massive scrutiny on our private lives,” he explains. “Initially, I had a very firm sense of boundaries around the press. Although Jen, I don’t think, objected to it the way I did, I objected to it very much. Coming back, I said, ‘Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media.’ Then I kind of realized it’s not fair to ask.”

Affleck compared wanting this to someone who wants to date a boat captain but doesn’t like the water. “We’re just two people with different approaches trying to learn how to compromise,” he says.

Lopez opens up about past abuse

One of the most talked about scenes This is me… now: a love story is “the glass house”, which portrays the singer in an abusive relationship while singing “Rebound”. In the documentary, Lopez explains that this is rooted in her own truth.

“There were people in my life who said ‘I love you’ and then didn’t do things that were in line with the word ‘love,’” she reveals.

“You have to hit rock bottom, where you are in situations so uncomfortable and so painful that you finally think: I don’t want this anymore. A therapist said to me, ‘What if this was your daughter? ‘ And it was so clear that I was going to tell her to get out of here and never look back. But for me, it was so confusing and complicated,” explains Lopez. “It was like looking through the fog.”

Director Dave Meyers previously told Yahoo Entertainment that filming “Rebound” was one of the hardest days on set, given the subject matter. It’s clear that day also affected Lopez.

“Being played around and mistreated like that is not fun. I mean, I’ve never been in a relationship where I’ve been beaten up, thank God, but I’ve definitely been mistreated and some other nasty things,” she says. “Rough. Disrespectful.”

In her 2014 memoir, Lopez he wrote she was abused “mentally, emotionally and verbally” but did not name names.

Lopez dismissed fears of how the media might interpret “Rebound”

Actor Anthony Ramos did not film the “glass house” scene because of his friendship with Marc Anthony.

“[Anthony] was going to do the ‘Rebound’ number with me,” Lopez says in the document. “And he said, ‘Oh, I’m Marc’s friend.”

Lopez quickly married Anthony after she and Affleck split in 2004. They were together for more than seven years and share 16-year-old twins, Max and Emme.

Lopez is then shown on the phone trying to persuade the On the heights star to do the project.

“[Marc’s] the father of my children, obviously. I’ll never do anything that really likes to identify him, but it’s very meta,” Lopez told Ramos. “It’s about the 20-year journey between that last album [This Is Me…Then] and this album, and a lot of things happened, and there were a lot of relationships that I was in. This thing you’re touching is representative of many relationships, not one specific relationship.

Lopez later told friend and collaborator Shawn “Beezy” Barton, “If we just made our art thinking about what the media is going to say… what the hell are we doing?”

Affleck and Lopez share happy moments

The documentary is a personal, and often serious, deep dive into Lopez’s life. However, it’s peppered with some light-hearted moments that give a glimpse into Affleck and Lopez’s marriage. At one point, the Oscar-winning director is reading the script for Lopez’s film, in which one scene describes Lopez as a 28-year-old woman.

“I love that you want to play younger, even in autobiography,” says Affleck.

“This isn’t my autobiography! This is meta! This is me using a little bit of my story,” Lopez responds.

“It’s your story, but younger,” Affleck laughs, before snuggling up to his wife.

Lopez’s childhood pain fueled relationship problems and insecurity

“Jen felt emotionally neglected as a child,” says Affleck. While it’s hard to imagine Lopez — someone whose “professional life” is “extremely successful and who, on Instagram, appears to be living the happiest life in the world” — fights, she fights.

“In Jennifer’s case, I don’t think there are enough followers or movies or records or anything like that to soothe that part of you that still feels longing and hurts,” he tells the camera. “Ultimately, this is the work you need to do yourself.”

Lopez believes her relationship with her parents prepared her for some of her romantic failures.

“I felt very ignored by my father because he would always work at night and then sleep all day and I didn’t feel like I had enough of a connection with him. My mother was a narcissistic, center of attention, party-type person,” she says. “The combination of those two things set me on the path to being with that type of person. What I started to realize was that I’m comfortable with that. , but I don’t like it.

Insecurity also affects Lopez’s professional life, as she feels like she’s “not good enough.”

“You know that feeling like you’re letting everyone down all the time and you’re never doing anything right?” she says through tears, explaining that she struggles with the feeling of “not being good enough” in “the movie, as a partner, as a mother, since all the things and all you want to do is be the best at all these things “.

Lopez says her “biggest fear” is failing at “being a mother.”

Bennifer initially split 3 days before their 2004 wedding

“We had a big wedding planned, 14 ushers and bridesmaids, and three days before, we just crumbled under the pressure,” Lopez reveals. “All these years, it was very difficult because I didn’t just feel like I lost the love of my life, I felt like I lost the best friend I ever had. That was the hardest part.”

Affleck seems somewhat surprised by the devastation that ensued after they called off their engagement.

“When I first read the script, it seemed like the inciting incident that causes all this pain in the future is our breakup. I thought, ‘Wow.’ No one did anything wrong, it was mutual… we have to forget, forgive each other,” he says. “Will you forgive me?”

Only at the end of the film do viewers receive Lopez’s answer to that question.

“Yes, I think I have completely forgiven you,” she responds. “I think I need to forgive myself [for] some things.”

The greatest love story never told streams on Prime Video on February 27.