ELLEN DeGeneres admitted she struggled following the 2020 talk show scandal during her recent return to stand-up.
A series of toxic workplace allegations were made against the longtime host a few years ago, and her show was canceled in 2022.
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Earlier this year, Ellen, 66, performed a small show at Largo at the Coronet Theater in Los Angeles and shared a clip from the event on her social media.
She joked that fans around the world would soon see the show and hear her new comedy as she returned to that world after the end of her talk show.
Ellen soon announced that she would be returning to the venue a few more times before taking her show on the road on Ellen’s Last Stand…Up tour.
On Wednesday, the 66-year-old performed the first night of her tour, revealing that much of her show featured jokes about the controversy surrounding her and her talk show.
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In 2020, former employees and guests of The Ellen DeGeneres Show accused the show of having a toxic set that included bullying, racism, and sexual harassment.
In her comedy, Ellen explained how she felt going from the host everyone thought was the kindest to someone people despised.
“I used to say I didn’t care what other people thought of me, and I realized I said that at the height of my popularity,” Ellen told the crowd, according to Rolling Stone.
“It’s a huge waste of time to worry about what other people think,” she continued. “Right now, I hope you’re thinking, ‘This is wonderful, I’m so happy to be here.’”
“But you might be thinking, ‘Let’s see how this goes,’” the comedian admitted.
OPENING
Ellen told fans that since her talk show’s controversial end in 2022 after 19 seasons, she has been wearing a lot of sweatpants and doing a lot of gardening.
“The ‘be kind’ girl wasn’t kind,” the 66-year-old continued, as she recalled her scandal. “I became a one-dimensional character who handed out things and danced up stairs.”
“You know how hard it is to dance up steps,” she joked. “Would a bad person dance up the steps? If I had ended my show by saying, ‘Fuck you,’ people would have been pleasantly surprised.”
Ellen said the ordeal took a toll on her “ego and self-esteem.”
“There are extremes in this business, people either love you and idolize you or they hate you, and those people somehow speak the loudest,” she continued.
Later in the show, Ellen answered questions from fans in the crowd.
During this segment, she admitted that although she was “joking” about everything that happened, “it was devastating.”
“It took a long time for me to want to do anything again,” she said.
ELLEN’S APOLOGY
A few months after the allegations against Ellen began, she addressed them in a monologue on her talk show.
“If you’re watching because you love me, thank you,” the host said during the September 2020 episode.
She continued, “If you’re watching because you don’t love me, welcome. As you may have heard, this summer there were allegations of a toxic work environment in our program and so there was an investigation.”
Ellen stated that the show was “starting a new chapter” after making “necessary changes.”
A year later, she announced that she was ending her talk show, and the daytime program officially ended with its final episode in May 2022.
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