‘You want to find someone who wants you for you’

A new reality dating show is bringing the drama and excitement of international football stardom to the American dating scene — sort of.

In Love in disguisePremiering May 9 on Peacock, an elite group of international football players trade their glamorous lives for a chance to find true love under the bright lights of Los Angeles.

There is a difference: the American women they are dating have no idea of ​​their celebrity status at home.

The nine-episode series follows five Premier League stars – Jamie O’Hara and Lloyd Jones of the United Kingdom, Ryan Babel of the Netherlands and football royalty Sebastián Fassi and Olympic gold medalist Marco Fabián of Mexico – as they take on new identities.

Players are set up on dates with 18 unsuspecting women who they believe are being filmed for a simple dating reality show. At the end of their stay in Hollywood, the men must reveal their true selves before taking the women to their respective countries.

While taking on a new identity may seem like a recipe for disaster when it comes to love, the athletes tell Yahoo Entertainment that it has been strangely freeing to date without the pressure of fame and fortune.

“Before becoming a famous football player, dating was very private and discreet,” explained O’Hara. “Being put in the spotlight changed that because it changes the type of woman who is attracted to you.”

Having played football in five different countries, Fassi said dating took a backseat so he could make his dreams come true. Being on the show was like a “second chance” at love.

“I can say now that it was life changing,” Fassi shared. “When you start your career, you put [soccer] first and you kind of forget everything else. You’re starting to date and meet someone, so it’s like, ‘Hey, I’m moving to the other side of the world to pursue my dream.’”

For Jones, dating undercover allowed him to rediscover who he was without celebrity status: “Your mindset changes,” he said. “It’s not all about you. You want to find someone who wants you for you.

For Babel, however, putting on a mask didn’t come without challenges.

“I’ve been through disastrous relationships, so it was nice to be someone no one knew,” he said. “But I realized very quickly, actually, that this was even more difficult – and more of a disaster.”

Blindly loving has become a TV market

Monetizing deception is nothing new to reality television. In 2003, almost 40 million people watched the end of the season Millionaire Joe, in which Evan Marriott disguised himself as a multimillionaire to 20 eligible women. In reality, Marriott was a construction worker who earned $19,000 a year. Its reboot in 2022, Joe Millionaire: For richer or poorer, welcomed two men – one rich and one poor – as leaders.

Programs like ABC Dating in the dark (2009-10) saw contestants dating in total darkness, not seeing each other until the end. Likewise, the hit Netflix show Love is blind encourages participants to meet and engage without seeing each other until after the proposal.

While viewers seem to enjoy watching this type of deception on reality shows, dating coach Liv Talley told Yahoo Entertainment last year that it often happens at the expense of her contestants.

“No, love is not blind and attraction is important,” she said about Love is blind. “Rushing them to the altar to pressure them into marriage or humiliate them is destructive to these singles.”

Kelsey Latimer, a licensed psychologist, said it’s important to remember that programs like these are, first and foremost, an experiment.

“We have to remember that people who apply to be on the show are likely ‘romantic’ in their personality style,” Latimer told Yahoo Entertainment. “They believed from the beginning that this could work and that’s powerful!”

‘Find someone who wants you for yourself’

Whether you love or hate the premise, O’Hara insists the show is an attempt to ask viewers what’s more important: love or money?

“Doing the show changed my outlook on dating,” he said. “It kind of opened up a little bit of my personality to be a little more confident in the fact that you’re not Jamie O’Hara the football player. You’re just Jamie O’Hara.”

As for Babel, his experience helped him understand the real attributes he wants in a partner, and he hopes viewers learn from his journey on the show.

“Your whole life you try to figure out whether people like you for you or for what you do,” he said. “When that’s completely taken away and you’re just another person in the room, it’s interesting to see how people change for better or worse.”