How often would you say you are truly happy? If you feel like your days are deprived of joy, the good news is that you can take action to gain more joy.
In the new book Science On Happiness, Professor Bruce Hood reveals how we can make simple changes in our everyday lives to increase our pleasure ratio and turn our frowns upside down.
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The science of happiness
We all want to be happier, but our brain often gets in the way.
When we are too caught up in our heads, we obsess over inadequacies, compare ourselves to others, and fail to see the good in our lives.
But it is possible to demonstrate that the key to happiness is not self-care, but connection.
By utilizing seven simple yet transformative lessons based on decades of study in neuroscience and developmental psychology, you can break negative thought patterns and reconnect with the things that truly matter in life.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Start a journal. Paper is better than digital. Journalling puts things into perspective.
Change your ego
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EVEN though we may think we are the center of the universe, we are not.
If we want to be happier, we must radically rethink our own lives.
Relevant to our happiness is how we think others think about us.
Who we are depends on the opinions of others.
When we are unhappy, we blame ourselves for our failures and our bad decisions and choices.
But we cannot control every experience that influences us.
If we can just take a step back, we can find a healthier perspective.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Dig up old diaries and letters. They prove that we have overcome most of the previous problems and concerns.
Get out of your own head
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OUR quest to be happier is often thwarted by a brain that makes inaccurate judgments and pays special attention to negative information.
We can reduce this negativity when we connect with others, but we can also do it alone if we take a little time to focus on our own heads.
An incredible or inspiring experience fills you with a sense of awe that lifts the spirit.
You can achieve this in literature, theater or music, or by visiting some epic place like Niagara Falls. In these moments we are not focused on ourselves.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Join a class or choir. Singing is a quick way to feel closer to others. Classes also give a feeling of connection.
Avoid isolation
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DESPITE the comfort of technology, we still need company for our emotional well-being.
It’s the main source of our happiness, which is why being ignored, excluded, or rejected can be so upsetting.
When we are connected with other people, we don’t feel as isolated or vulnerable.
Talk about problems and get a better sense of perspective with the help of friends.
Social media can be a source of unhappiness when we overvalue the opinions of others and base our sense of worth on online popularity.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Take a vacation from social media. Try it one day and see how you feel.
If you need to use it, schedule a time so it doesn’t interfere with other people’s “real” time.
Reject negative comparisons
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HAPPINESS is entirely open to interpretation. How we judge it often depends on what we compare it to.
If you ask people what makes them happy, fame, sex and a perfect body rank highly.
But when we reflect on failure and success, who do we compare ourselves to?
The more anxious we are, the more likely we are to become isolated
They are usually those who most resemble us, but we choose, like comparing professional success with that of a colleague, but the relationship with a friend.
This means you will find someone doing better.
Even the best athletes feel inadequate depending on their comparisons. Nobody’s life is perfect.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Write down three things you are grateful for.
Gratitude forces us to make downward rather than upward comparisons.
Become more optimistic
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TO be motivated by the prospect of becoming happier, we need to imagine better futures.
We wouldn’t get married if we thought we would get divorced. Consider how to be happier by becoming more optimistic.
Optimists are not only happier, they are also healthier, more liked, and live longer.
It can be challenging to see the bright side of life, but the bright side News of the Science of Happiness is that it is possible to change. You can learn to be more optimistic.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Imagine the best possible future for yourself in five years.
Let go of your current situation and write down what it could be like.
Control your attention
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HUMANS spend time imagining possible futures, and some of us worry about problems that may arise, exaggerating minor problems.
If you struggle with intrusive negative thoughts, try meditation.
There are different ways, but they all involve introspection and mind control.
Mindfulness meditation uses directed attention to focus on the present moment.
You take mindful walks in nature, combined with relaxation and deep breathing.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Find your flow with challenges or hobbies that match your skills.
Try the ones that stimulate you a little more, as this is the best way to learn and improve.
Connect with others
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LONELINESS is increasing, with all the negative consequences it brings to happiness.
Shared experiences amplify our pleasure. Whether it’s playing music or sports, or simply messing around, when we do it together it’s so much more fun.
The more anxious we are, the more likely we are to become isolated.
A simple way to change your perspective is to connect with others.
Deliberately focus your attention on the people around you and direct the spotlight outward, not inward.
Try active listening. Listening increases trust and engagement.
HAPPINESS EXERCISE: Start conversations with strangers. Small talk is best to start with.
- Edited extracts from The Science Of Happiness: Seven Lessons For Living Well by Prof Bruce Hood (£22, Simon and Schuster).
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