I used my 55 year old mother’s body to have a child at 20 – she risked everything to help me

HUGGING Mom in the hospital hallway, so many emotions flooded me. There was hope and concern, but most of all, love.

She was about to undergo an 11-hour operation, but not because of any health problem. Instead, she was removing the uterus so it could be donated – to me.

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She was risking her life to give me the chance to have the baby I dreamed of.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a mother and I had the best role model possible.

My mother, Michelle, now 55, a disability support worker, was warm and kind, and also a friend and mother to me.

Only 23 when she had me, as a young mother she was so much fun and we had a strong bond.

Even after I left home at 18 to study as a dental assistant, we talked on the phone every day.

In 2014, I told her about Nick, 31, who I met while out with friends. I instantly liked this laid-back, kind, handsome surfer.

Soon, I introduced him to my mom, dad Wayne, 52, and my brother Joel, 30, and they were thrilled for us when we got engaged in December 2019.

I suffered enormous blood loss

Nick and I got married the following April and decided to try for a baby.

Two months later, I unfortunately miscarried at seven weeks, but in July 2020 I became pregnant again.

Mom was already the grandmother of Joel’s two children and couldn’t wait to meet her third grandchild.

In April 2021 I went into labor naturally, but because of the baby’s position I had to have an emergency cesarean section.

I suffered massive blood loss after giving birth and drifted in and out of consciousness.

I remember being terrified, and when I heard a doctor say I needed a hysterectomy to save my life, I started sobbing, asking for Mom.

Then everything went black.

Forty-eight hours later, I woke up from a medically induced coma with a tube in my throat, covered in wires.

My beautiful 7 pound, 11 ounce daughter, Violet, was placed in my arms, and despite feeling deeply shocked and traumatized, I loved her instantly. We spent 10 days in the hospital before Nick could take us home.

My emotions were in turmoil.

I was so happy to be a mother and I adored Violet, but I was also grieving, knowing I would never have another child again.

I felt guilty for not just liking her, and so sad for what had been taken from me.

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I was afraid that if people knew how I felt, they would think I was a bad father.

The only person I opened up to, other than Nick, was my mother, who assured me that I was doing a fantastic job.

‘Mum kept reminding me that she was fit, healthy and determined. She wanted to help’

Violet was three months old when Mom offered to carry a second baby for me.

I declined her offer, however.

Giving birth almost killed me, so how could I put my mother’s life at risk by letting her do this for me?

However, in October 2021 I read that Australia’s first uterus donation clinical trial was taking place in Sydney and they were looking for participants.

I would need to take immunosuppressants for months or even years

Calling my mother, I was excited.

She was so disappointed when I turned down her offer to be a surrogate, but here was a new possibility.

She said “yes” without hesitation.

At first, our family was worried.

However, as we were subjected to physical tests and Nick and his father underwent psychological examinations to ensure they understood the risks, everyone agreed that we should continue.

I knew nothing was guaranteed – we might not be chosen for the trial, or we might have difficulty creating embryos through in vitro fertilization, transplant surgery might failor my body may reject the uterus.

So, I may not get pregnant or I may lose a pregnancy.

I would face the risks of any major surgery and there would be weeks of recovery.

I would need to take immunosuppressants for months or even years to prevent my body from rejecting my mother’s uterus.

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But I was more worried about Mom.

The surgery was much more difficult for the donor than the recipient, and she had never had surgery.

I knew the idea scared her, but she kept reminding me that she was fit, healthy and determined. She wanted to help.

‘I had her womb – where I grew up as a baby – inside me. It was amazing’

After two rounds of IVF in May and June 2022, we had three frozen embryos, and in December I got the call I was desperate for – we had been chosen for the trial and the surgery was scheduled for the following month.

I was thrilled – and scared

Mom and I were admitted together.

Only when we knew that your operation had been a success would I get in touch theater.

In our last hug before she went into surgery, I was amazed at what she was about to do for me.

I never loved her more.

Time passed as I waited for updates.

I was so relieved to hear that everything went well.

Then, with my heart pounding, it was my turn.

Waking up in a daze six hours later, I saw Mom in bed across the room and she gave me a little wave.

When the doctor said the surgery had gone as planned, I felt relief and wonder. I had my mother’s womb – which I grew up in as a baby – inside me.

It was amazing.

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In May, I had a single embryo transfer, and two weeks later, a blood test confirmed that I was pregnant.

It felt like a dream come true.

I immediately called Mom and we both cried at this miracle.

Doctors monitored me regularly, which helped me stay calm, and when I was 37 weeks pregnant, I was admitted to hospital for a planned caesarean section.

Mom was there with Nick, and we all watched in amazement as Henry, who weighed 6 pounds, 3 ounces, was removed from the womb Mom gave me.

After Nick and I held him, he was placed in Mom’s arms – he was only in the world thanks to her courage.

We haven’t decided yet whether we will try for another baby

I can keep my mother’s uterus for five years or two live births, then it has to be removed – this is normal in uterus transplants, so that the recipient does not have to take immunosuppressants throughout her life.

We haven’t decided yet whether we will try for another baby.

Mom and I were already close and this experience increased our bond.

It’s incredible what we went through.

When Henry is old enough, we will explain how he was born.

For now, I’m enjoying my six-month-old son and feeling so much gratitude for his brave grandmother, without whom he wouldn’t be here.”

Photography: They are media