WAKE UP next to the person you love is said to increase intimacy in a relationship and probably help start a more relaxing day.
But, according to a psychologist, sleeping apart can guarantee more sleep and a return to the “fantastic sex life” couples enjoyed when they first met.
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Married celebrities like Cameron Diaz, 51, and Carson Daly, 50, have changed the traditional co-sleeping narrative.
They claimed that what is known as a “sleep divorce” transformed their marriages and harmony was restored behind closed doors.
Carson said People in April, as he and his wife, Siri Pinter, sleep in separate bedrooms.
“It’s been good for us,” the Today host said before revealing that he and Siri “secretly love each other.”
Read more about Carson Daly
Cameron also spoke about this during a 2023 wellness podcast in which she discussed her marriage to Benji Madden.
“We should normalize separate bedrooms,” she said.
‘For me, I literally, I have my house, you have yours’
Psychotherapist Dr.Ph.D., urged couples who struggle to sleep next to their partners to consider the same.
“’Sleep divorce’ is becoming a phenomenon,” she told The US Sun.
“This is because celebrities like Carson Daly and Cameron Diaz have discussed their sleeping habits.
“There is nothing right or wrong about an overnight divorce.
“It’s still nice to have someone to hug if you feel insecure; that would be the healthy thing to do.”
Smerling said sleeping separately could reignite the spark of marriage.
“With sleep divorces, you can have good ideas and a variety of sexual encounters,” said the New York family therapist.
“You can arrange multiple dates, which triggers thoughts of when you were younger and dating.
“That could add some sexual excitement.
“Sleep divorces can trigger memories of fantastic sex.
“They can remind you of all kinds of things you forgot during the agonies of life.”
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STOP SNORING
According to a survey by American Academy of Sleep MedicineMore than a third of American couples sleep apart.
Sterling said the decision to do so could solve problems.
Carson, for example, admitted to using a CPAP machine to help with his snoring.
“Certainly, people with sleep apnea or other types of sleep problems can keep the other person up at night,” she said.
“If you wake up at different times, sleep divorce helps both couples sleep.
There’s nothing right or wrong about divorcing sleep, and Carson Daly, for example, says he doesn’t do it daily.
Dr. Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D.
“It is also particularly relevant when a person is sick or has illnesses and needs a good night’s sleep.
“If someone snores or has a snoring or sleeping machine, all of this can bother the other person.
“Some people like these sound machines and others don’t.
“There is nothing right or wrong about divorcing sleep, and Carson Daly, for example, says he doesn’t do it daily.
“You could do sleep divorce a few nights a week if you prefer, like he does.”
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ROOM FOR TWO
Carson explained how he and his wife structured their split sleep schedule at home.
“We don’t do it all the time, but a few days during the week — especially if I want to watch an Islanders hockey game later at night,” he said.
“I go into the guest room, she goes upstairs to read her book or watch a show.”
Smerling admitted that couples with space would find sleep divorces easier to organize.
Cameron Diaz has one room for herself and one for her husband, and they share a room in the middle.
Dr. Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D.
“Just like anything in marriage, it’s what works for both of you within the family system,” she said.
“People without a lot of space will have to find a way to make this work.
“Cameron Diaz has three quarters to schedule his divorces in his sleep.
“Cameron has one room for herself and one for her husband, and they share a room in the middle.
“So this is the luxury for her to live in a substantially larger place.
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“This only happens sometimes in New York City, and we are limited by space and finances.
“Barbara Corcoran just said they have two bedrooms, so all these celebrities are different.”
NOT NEGOTIABLE
Barbara, 75, admitted on The Today Show that sleeping apart has helped her 35-year marriage to Bill Higgins.
“I’ve had a separate room with Bill for 40 years,” she explained.
“I have to invite him in — he invites me occasionally,” the Shark Tank star added.
Smerling advised couples not to rush into discussing any divorce options in their sleep.
So you arrange a date, which is fun.
Dr. Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D.
“Barbara Corcoran said sleeping apart saved her marriage,” she said.
“But there are problems with going into this scenario blind.
“If someone hesitates, we can say that it is not permanent; If so, let’s try it and see how it works.
“So you have to make that very clear when you talk about it.
“There are pros and cons, but you need to negotiate your intimacy and how it will work for you.
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“The downside is that one of the best parts of being married is waking up to someone in the morning.
“Divorce in your sleep changes that particular part of a couple’s intimacy when you wake up alone.
“So you have to discuss and be very transparent about what kind of intimacy or sex life you want.
“Intimacy can become more meaningful because sex is scheduled and more exciting.
“It would stop being ‘I have to do this because we’re married.’
“So you set up a date, which is fun.
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“It all depends on each couple; What works for one couple doesn’t work for another couple.
“You can reestablish rituals, like saying good morning and good night, hugging each other or kissing goodnight.”
GO WITH THE FLOW
“When you sleep the way you can and want to, it helps you feel better about yourself,” Smerling added.
“And of course, having someone to hug in the morning is always good if you feel insecure.
“That would be the healthy thing to do, but I don’t think anything is permanent in marriage.
You might end up wanting that intimacy of sleeping with someone again.
Dr. Kathryn Smerling, Ph.D.
“To have a successful marriage, you must be ready to go with the flow and be resilient.
“You don’t have to say that we will sleep apart for the rest of our lives or that this is how you wanted it.
“Sleep divorces can work for 10 years, and then you can get over them.
“You might end up wanting that intimacy of sleeping with someone again.”
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This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
