ELENA LEEMING, 39, has zero tolerance for snacks and screen time and thinks “gentle parenting” techniques are lazy.
The business analyst from York – mum to Clive, six, and Violet, five – says her methods have made her children happier and healthier.
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PARENTS have become too lazy, they simply don’t discipline their children now.
As for “gentle” or “soft” parenting – it’s not for me.
This week, former Apprentice runner-up and mother of three, Luisa Zissman, revealed that she has been making her children do chores since they were two years old. She says they have to “work for everything” – and I completely agree.
Since mine could walk, six-year-old Clive and five-year-old Violet have been loading the washing machine and helping us mow the lawn and pull weeds.
I don’t think kids these days have any resilience and I worry about this generation turning into adults who expect everything to be served to them.
Children need limits, which is why I only let mine watch TV once a week.
I also throw away any toys that are not put away immediately after use, no matter how expensive they are.
And I never let them gorge on sugary snacks. My son and daughter have never eaten a Haribo in their lives.
But they are healthy, happy and, as a result, have a good sleep routine.
It’s a difficult approach, but my children are not suffering in any way – they know they are loved.
If I’m on a date night with my husband Darren… I’ve paid to enjoy my meal and I don’t want to be sitting next to screaming children.
I believe that parents today fail Discipline your children in public. We don’t eat out as a family very often, but when we do, my kids are on their best behavior.
Other people are there to have fun and if the kids are running around, it ruins everything. If parents want to let their kids run, they can just walk away.
It’s just lazy parenting.
If I’m on a date night with my husband Darren, 54, a technical support engineer, I’ve paid to enjoy my meal and don’t want to sit around next to screaming children.
One high-sugar food per day
Letting kids do what they want will only slow down their learning and take longer to get where they want to be.
I want my children to grow up to be strong leaders and I am preparing them for life.
My husband and I grew up without learning skills like cooking and housework, which set us back.
But it also taught us to be self-reliant. We went out into the world without any practical or financial skills, starting from scratch.
I lived alone when I was 18 and had to go through a lot of financial difficulties to learn how to get out of it.
It’s something that isn’t taught at school, so parents have to do it.
When you’re very young, you feel entitled to go to college, get a fabulous job, and travel the world.
But you have to work hard and I inspire that in my children.
I also teach them about nutrition. They know they should eat at least five portions of fruit and vegetables a day, as well as drinking at least a liter of water.
They are never allowed highly processed foods such as slushies, gum ice cream, jelly, or artificially flavored snacks such as candy and chips.
When they receive sweets, they say, “No thanks, they’re not good for me,” and put them in the trash.
They prefer to eat an apple, a banana or a tomato as a snack.
They can have one high-sugar food a day, like queso fresco, vanilla ice cream, or a non-chocolate cookie, but nothing that feels overproduced or artificial.
We also encourage them to check snack labels to make sure there are no E numbers.
We don’t want our children’s diet to cause mood swings. And no soft drinks are allowed, even sugar-free options.
When we go shopping, children choose the right things for themselves as daily gifts, because they know what they can and cannot have.
Television is also strictly rationed.
They can only watch on Sundays as our busy schedule does not allow for other days.
We go out a lot, otherwise the children will focus on classes or homework, which have to take priority.
They can watch educational programs for about an hour, but if they are sick, the time may increase slightly. I won’t let them watch trash like Paw Patrol.
Tablets should only be used for educational games such as spelling challenges.
I put their toys, including remote control cars and soft toys, in a black bin bag and took them to the charity shop.
Screen time is an addiction I don’t want them to develop.
It gives them nightmares and they absorb the wrong kind of information.
I would rather they spend their time learning something. People online often say, “Let kids be kids” and I do that – they play, they go to school, they see their friends. I don’t send them to work.
Children cannot climb stairs or move on to a different activity until they have finished the first.
If they don’t do this, they will lose their toys forever. One time I was on a work call and they turned the house inside out.
I gave them five minutes to tidy up and they didn’t finish in time.
So I put his toys, including remote control cars and soft toys, in a black bin bag and took them to the charity shop.
We warned them well in advance, so there was no crying.
In the following weeks, the books were on the shelf and the toys were put away. They learned from it and I never had to do it again.
I’m willing to do anything to teach discipline, so my kids learn not to do silly things.
My daughter once tied a knot in her backpack that was very difficult to untie, so I made her untie it outside in the rain so she wouldn’t do it again.
Pasted on screens
We have star charts on the wall and they lose stars if they don’t go to the bathroom before leaving the house and have to go while we’re gone.
It’s a five-star system. If they reach three stars, they will have to be extras Cool. If they can consistently maintain a four-star rating, we can treat them by taking them to Legoland, the movies, or bowling.
Many parents are glued to screens these days when they should be looking after their children on the playground.
I once asked a boy I knew if he would be interested in playing football, but his mother just snorted and said there was “no way” she would want to be out in the cold for hours.
Parents simply don’t want to invest time in their children, which is bullshit.
My children are not suffering. Yes, my parenting approach is more difficult, but they know they are loved.
It seems like an easier option to get a Nintendo Switch or a tablet.
My advice is to just kick them out, let them play outside and go for a bike ride to get some fresh air.
There are alternatives to screen time.
Other moms have said that my parenting style is old-fashioned — which makes me feel like an outsider even though I’m just trying to do right by my kids.
I firmly believe that my approach will create smart, savvy entrepreneurs.
I don’t want to raise children who depend on minimum wage jobs and benefits. Much of this is a result of how people were raised.
Everyone has their own opinion and can raise their children however they want, but mental health problems are on the rise and people lack resilience these days.
My children are not suffering. Yes, my parenting approach is more difficult, but they know they are loved.
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This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
