Should school sports days be banned?
How much more schools make sports days optional, two mothers argue for and against the summer tradition. . .
YES, says Sun writer and mother of two Grace Macaskill
3
ONE of my fondest childhood memories is winning the three-legged race on sports day when I was eight.
The moment of victory is burned into my brain in glorious Technicolor.
So why, you might ask, as a mother of two boys ages 14 and 12, do I hate this annual event?
When I was growing up in the late 70s, no one’s parents attended sports days.
So it was just something that happened, without fanfare and – shock, horror – without a medal or “You Did It” sticker in sight.
They were kids, in running shorts, having a little fun.
Today is a different game. The children are divided into houses and teams and forced to participate in what has become an overly competitive parade of sporting prowess.
On the sidelines are hyper-competitive parents, shouting louder than Alex Ferguson in his furious heyday, desperate to propel their little darlings across the finish line first.
My two kids hate it. The oldest is dyspraxic, which means he has a coordination disorder that makes some physical activities challenging.
Although he loves dodgeball in his after-school club, he wouldn’t stand a chance in races like the egg and the spoon.
My 12-year-old son is more academic than athletic, but no school offers a “math day” where parents can watch their kids in action doing algebra, right?
For a parent, there is nothing more painful than seeing your child struggling with something, and that too in full view of other children.
You might think I’m spoiling my boys, but I’m not. Many mothers and fathers with less sporty children feel exactly the same way about this love of athletics, especially if their children are already facing difficulties in life.
Then there are the parents themselves – those with the best views are often smug, unemployed mothers who spent a week planning the perfect picnic.
There is a look of disdain for us, the late and harassed ones – the working mothers – who rush from their desks and arrive red-faced from running, just to get there on time.
My children felt the humiliation deeply when theirs actually came in last in the moms’ race a few years ago.
Why do all students have to participate?
I imagined that Chariots Of Fire music would play when I crossed the finish line first, forgetting that most of the other mothers were 20 years younger than me. Cue a sprained ankle and beetroot cheeks.
The parental race is even worse, with super competitive young people dressed in designer sportswear, setting a bad example for their children by huffing and puffing when they don’t win.
If your child really loves sports, it must be fantastic for him to show what he can do.
But why do all students have to participate? How about organizing different events for those with other talents?
Then there’s the new all-inclusive approach, where everyone gets a sticker for participating.
It is right for children to learn that not everyone can win a prize. But should this apply to things they don’t even want to do?
It’s time to ban these outdated, stress-inducing glasses completely.
NO, says freelance writer and mother of three Lucy Denver
3
Last year my eldest son came second in the 200 meters at the school sports day. He was duly awarded a medal and everyone applauded.
This year he won nothing.
He turned 13 in April, but unlike some of his contemporaries, he has yet to develop any manly muscles.
Was he disappointed? A little. But he was also quite cheerful in the face of defeat.
After all, you win some, you lose some. That’s what sports day is all about.
Children are not stupid – they know who is the best in the class at running, jumping or throwing.
Pretending that everyone is as good as everyone else is an insult to your intelligence and patronizing to boot.
And it is often children who are not as competent in the classroom who excel on the sports field. Shouldn’t they have the chance to shine for once and know they’re the best at something?
As parents, we are much more in tune with our children’s feelings than previous generations.
We empathize when they are struggling, rather than telling them to just “move on.”
We listen to their problems and encourage them to share their emotions.
Learning to lose is a very important life skill
We hope this approach results in more well-adjusted adults.
But the flip side is that this generation may not be so good at facing the hard and the soft – or at knowing what it’s like to come in last place.
Learning to lose is a very important life skill, which is why giving up on sports day if you think you won’t get a gold medal doesn’t help in the long run.
I wouldn’t dream of allowing my children, who are 13, 10 and 7, to get sick, and I also don’t think schools should let them avoid the hard things.
Life is competitive, so we need to know how to deal with disappointment and failure when it inevitably happens.
It may sound cliché, but children need to discover that participating and doing their best is what counts, while congratulating the best player on the day.
This is what you learn from and what fuels future success. Sports day is the perfect place to start learning this.
It’s a safe environment, where the risks aren’t too high and you’re applauded by your friends – even if you arrive last.
I wasn’t particularly athletic in school. I was enthusiastic rather than skilled.
But I remember the sports days with great fondness.
It meant an afternoon off from classes in the sun, cheering my parents on at the races, laughing when I couldn’t clear the high jump bar, and going crazy when my house won the cup.
We end the day tired and happy, because running, jumping and throwing are good, both mentally and physically.
I even remember my few triumphs, like slowly climbing from the back of the pack to second place in the 1,500 meters, supported by my incredulous classmates.
And last week, I came third in the moms’ race at my youngest son’s sports day. I remain competitive!
Sports day doesn’t have to be a bad thing, even if you’re terrible at running or can’t balance an egg on a spoon if your life depended on it. As with so many things in life, the main thing is to participate.
It’s about being part of something good
Is your child excited about sports day? Parenting expert Kirsty Ketley shares her tips for making things fun, not tense.
1 Help your child understand that the focus should be on effort, not performance. Doing your best is enough – it’s not about winning or losing.
two Losing doesn’t make you a loser – it simply means that someone else was better than you that day. Losing can be a good motivator for children to keep trying, never give up and reach their full potential.
3 Teach your child to be a graceful loser and winner – cheering on peers is kind and shows good sportsmanship.
4 Be a good role model. Be aware of how you handle frustration and disappointment, and make sure your expectations for your child’s performance are realistic.
5 If your child insists they don’t want to compete, talk to the school and see how they can help. Perhaps your child could take on a “helping” role? All sports heroes have people behind them to make the magic happen.
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
