I charge other mums to play – I charge £4 for clay and £2 for ice creams, I’ve had a huge backlash but I’m not changing

STANDING at the school gates, I froze in shock when a fellow mother told me her PayPal information.

Casually, she had just asked for £5 to cover the cost of a playdate with her five-year-old son.

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It seemed like the most bizarre thing ever.

This would never have happened at my daughter’s previous school in Folkestone, Kent.

Who would be stingy enough to charge their parents for a play date? What was I paying for? Some paint? One litter?

However, not only did everyone take the time to write down this mother’s PayPal address, they also acted like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Here you go,” said one woman, as another transferred the money to her without a second thought.

When I told my friends about a mother who demanded a fiver from everyone in exchange for a few hours with her son, they were as shocked as I was.

‘Now I’m ashamed that I was so critical’

I still paid the £5 anyway.

Having only moved to the area four months ago, I didn’t want to cause drama and embarrass my daughter.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that almost every parent in the village did the same.

Sometimes they would ask for just £2 or £3.

On one occasion I was asked for £8 to cover the bus fare to the park and the cost of the journey.

A few weeks later, I raised the issue with another local mom when we met for coffee.

I was surprised when she argued that asking for a contribution is the fairest thing to do and that it is unreasonable to expect someone else to feed and water your child.

“You have no idea if another family might be struggling for money,” she told me.

Suddenly I realized that this woman was right.

It’s easy to see how a visit from my daughter’s friends could quickly derail my weekly budget.

Rebecca Arrumado

Britain is going through a huge cost of living crisis and, given that there is a huge daily queue for the food bank at our village church, perhaps some parents will consider the extra expense of a play date a real challenge.

Now I’m ashamed that I was so critical.

According to recent figures, 4.3 million children — 30 percent of all children in the country — were living in poverty in 2023.

For single-parent families, this percentage increased to 44 percent.

I’m a 37-year-old single mother and I spend long hours working to pay my bills.

I plan well in advance to make sure I have enough money for groceries and other essential expenses.

It’s easy to see how a visit from my daughter’s friends could quickly derail my weekly budget – so I decided to do the same.

Of course, I felt awkward the first time I asked for money. But everyone delivered happily.

The cost of lunch ingredients soon adds up, while an ice cream in the park always costs £1 or £2.

‘Someone will always be offended’

I also do a lot of crafts with the children, so I ask for £3 to cover the price of materials.

But when I posted on Instagram that I now charge for playdates, I ended up deleting it due to the huge backlash I received.

“I bet your kid will never get a playdate back,” one commented, while others commented that it’s selfish to ask for money and said they wouldn’t want their kids visiting my house.

I was outraged and irritated.

But on the internet, someone will always be offended.

And now, with the kids on summer vacation, there will be even more play dates.

A Mumsnet thread highlighted this, with one woman saying how it cost her a three-figure sum every week to feed her son’s friends on holiday.

They are 11 or 12 years old and eat like horses.

“I’m not sure how to approach this or what to do,” she said.

“Can I ask parents for input and if so, what is reasonable? They are usually here between 9am and 6pm.”

I have no patience with parents who expect others to foot the bill for their children.

Rebecca Arrumado

Turns out she wasn’t the only one suffering, but I was surprised by how many moms still told her she shouldn’t charge.

I might have said the same originally, but I saw the light.

It’s just common sense.

Parents who are offended by a request for money show how reckless modern society has become.

We are neglecting to consider the costs of our own actions on others.

These days, I have no patience with parents who expect others to respond. the bill for your son.

I won’t stop charging for playdates now – and I’m so grateful to that other mom who inspired my rethinking.

As told to: ANNA ROBERTS