A mother has sparked fierce debate after her “gentle upbringing” resulted in a huge tantrum – and even aggression.
Very different from what previous generations have embraced, gentle parenting is a peaceful, positive style of parenting that sees no “shame, guilt, or punishment” as explained by experts.
As it sounds, this form of parenting – one of many that exist – is all about caregivers and parents guiding their children with consistent, compassionate limits rather than a firm hand.
“Gentle parenting, also known as collaborative parenting, is a style of parenting in which parents do not force children to behave through punishment or control, but use connection, communication, and other democratic methods to make decisions together as a family ,” said Danielle Sullivan, parenting coach and host of Neurodivergent Podcast based in Colorado, USA.
This style consists of four main elements: empathy, respect, understanding and limits.
The trend may be rising in popularity, especially among younger parents – however, a mother of four, known only as Angie, recently sparked fury after showing what her toddler was doing with absolutely no consequences.
The video now viralwhich has garnered over 10 million views in less than a week, sees the mother sitting outside the family’s porch filming her son’s antics.
It appears the girl, thought to be between three and four years old, was desperately trying to get back inside – however, Angie asked her to calm her voice despite continued demands to “open” the door.
After Angie asked her daughter if she was “ready to be nice,” the girl — all red from crying and screaming — shouted back with an instant “No!” before pushing the mother.
”Hands are not for hitting! When you’re ready to use your inner voice, you can talk to me.”
Unfortunately for the parents, things were about to get worse as the child picked up a plastic chair and threw it at her mother, who encouraged her to “be nice.”
Seeing that Angie, who works as a nurse, wasn’t moving and the air wasn’t coming in any time soon, the daughter decided to take drastic measures – grabbing her mother’s arm and trying to scratch it, before slapping her on the back.[airweren’tgoinginsideanytimesoonthedaughterdecidedtotakedrasticmeasures-grabbinghermum’sarmandtryingtoscratchitbeforeslappingherback[airweren’tgoinginsideanytimesoonthedaughterdecidedtotakedrasticmeasures-grabbinghermum’sarmandtryingtoscratchitbeforeslappingherback
“We’re going to stay here until you’re ready,” Angie said after the girl screamed and hit her again.
Since being posted on TikTok, the clip has taken the internet by storm, sparking fierce debate among viewers – and even Angie had something to say about the parenting approach.
”I don’t care what you say, a gentle upbringing doesn’t work for these new generations. I tried,” she said in the caption.
Thousands of shocked social media users flocked to the comments, where one read: “Kind parenting is for kind kids. My daughter is a gangster with a bad attitude, so is her mother!
Another mom chimed in: ”I do a combination of both… I start with gentle parenting and then resort to old school tactics if that doesn’t work, haha.”
Different Parenting Styles Explained
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There are four recognized parenting styles explained below:
Authoritative Parenting
What some might describe as “regimental” or “strict” parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents assume decision-making power, rarely giving their children any input on the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes moms/dads’.
Permissive parents are tolerant and only intervene when there is a serious problem.
They are very forgiving and adopt a “kids will be kids” attitude.
They often act more like friends than authority figures.
Authorized Parenthood
Authoritarian parents provide rules and limits to their children, but they also give them freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritarian parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while making it clear that adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, such as praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or uninvolved parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, affection and attention from their parents.
They don’t set rules or expectations and tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect their children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents can be negligent, but it is not always intentional. A parent with mental health or substance abuse issues, for example, may not be able to consistently care for a child’s physical or emotional needs.
“My mom would NOT let this go, one look and I would be dead,” wrote a third.
”I literally choked! What the hell?! She will do this to another child. No. No. No.” Someone else shamed Angie for not setting boundaries.
While thousands of people criticized the mother and shared how the problem would be resolved in their homes, others rushed to share tips and advice.
One person wrote: “Teach her to stop and breathe, and let her come to you when she’s ready to tell you what’s wrong.
”Don’t ignore her feelings by saying “be nice”, she needs to learn to regulate her emotions..”
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