A mother revealed that living with her husband and boyfriend was the “only way” to buy a house.
Jennifer Martin, 36, and her husband Daniel, 36, had previously faced financial difficulties and had $50,000 in student debt between them.
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The couple – who have two children together aged 11 and 13 – decided to try polyamory nine years ago.
Jennifer, who is polyamorous, began dating Ty Simpson, 34, a bank process manager, six years ago and the family initially moved into a rented house.
They couldn’t be happier and Jennifer says they decided pool their finances, which ultimately allowed them to purchase a four-bedroom, three-bathroom home for $325,000.
Jennifer, a writer living in Richmond, Virginia, USA, said: “I don’t think this would have happened without three incomes.
“I don’t even know if Daniel and I would have been able to buy a house otherwise – period.”
Although Ty initially didn’t move in with the pair for financial reasons, his mother admitted that he ended up being a huge help.
“It changed my life,” she said.
Daniel, a school teacher, said: “Finances are less of a concern as we all combine our incomes.
“I like the freedom we all have together in our new home. There’s room for everyone and it’s Cool own property so we can make it ours.”
Jennifer met Daniel at church at age 18, they married at 20 and had children at 25.
She said: “Daniel and I have never had separate finances. We are very interconnected financially – it’s almost codependent.
“We had young children and were on WIC – a food program for women, babies and children – and then on food stamps for a while.”
The couple agreed to try polyamory in December 2015 and opened their marriage in 2016.
Jennifer said: “I asked my husband I wasn’t sure if I could maintain monogamy forever.
“We read books, we researched, we did therapy. We took it very slowly because we didn’t have much experience dating other than each other.”
She started dating Ty in 2018 and in March 2020 they all moved in together.
“I talked to my children about it and we asked permission. It was a decision that we made with great attention and care,” she said.
The three also talked at length about finances before deciding to combine them.
Together, their income is about $160,000 a year – Jennifer earns about $30,000, Daniel $55,000 and Ty $75,000.
“We talked a lot about how to share costs and we never fought about it.
I’m not worrying about money all the time. I’m not panicking and freaking out like I was when it was just me and Daniel.
Jennifer Martins
“We’re really focused on thinking: What do we need to cut? What do we need to do to make big purchases or big financial decisions?
“None of us spend a lot. We’re all pretty moderate. We don’t deny ourselves everything to save money, but we also don’t make random $500 purchases,” she explained.
Jennifer says they are in a ‘V’ relationship – meaning she and Ty are dating, but Daniel and Ty are not.
Jennifer alternates her time equally between the beds of her two partners in the house, taking a basket with her things between the rooms.
This sleeping arrangement was “one of the first things we discovered when we moved in together,” Ty said.
Typically, Jennifer spends two nights with Ty and then two nights with Daniel, unless someone is out of town or “spending a night with another partner.”
Daniel is her only legal spouse, but Daniel and Ty share the mortgage contract – because Jennifer wanted Ty to benefit if something happened to her.
Jennifer said: “We all purposely intertwine our finances, in a way we are all connected. Ty and Daniel aren’t dating, but their names are on the mortgage, not mine.
“Ty is not legally married to me and is not the legal father of my children, so I wanted to make sure that if something were to happen, we would all have each other.”
What is polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of maintaining romantic relationships with more than one person at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all parties.
It can refer to relationships in which a person has multiple partners or spouses, or in which all parties are in a relationship with each other, for example in a threesome.
According to You governor6.8% of people in the UK have been in a polyamorous relationship.
In an attempt to intertwine their lives as much as possible and avoid “any potential future legal issues” Jennifer and Ty even have credit cards together
Jennifer says they divide the financial costs “in proportion to who does what” and divide the tasks.
She said: “Everyone has their own individual strengths.
“I’m the manager – the momager – I schedule things, I know when the kids have events and I always know what’s going on.”
Ty added: “Daniel does a lot of the heavy maintenance – if it involves tools, it’s usually him.
“I’m the family’s tech support and I take care of most of the finances and paying the bills.
“We all have our roles when it comes to household responsibilities – we are all responsible for basic parental responsibilities as well as keeping a clean and well-maintained home.”
We all purposely intertwine our finances, in a way, we are all connected.
Jennifer Martin
The three do not maintain a closed relationship and Jennifer, Daniel and Ty have separate partners.
“In monogamy there is the assumption that you will date someone seriously – you will live together, you will get married, maybe you will have children.
“Whereas in many non-monogamous situations, people are not on the relationship escalator.
“You kind of decide how involved you are with someone, and there’s no expected end goal,” Jennifer said.
Having Ty around as an extra dad is something that “just happened naturally,” the mom added.
“I love the way we all come together and make each other laugh and genuinely care about each other.
“I’m not worrying about money all the time. I’m not panicking and freaking out like when it was just me and Daniel.
“Now my children are happy. My family is functioning better and we have a home together.”
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This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
