I earn a lot for my husband – so why should I come home after a long day and do the housework when it’s my hard work that keeps a roof over our heads and the joint bank account replenished?
Sticky, smelly marigolds give me hives and this ridiculous notion created by the likes of ‘clean influencers’ (what does that even mean?) like Mrs Hinch and Stacy Solomon that cleaning is ‘a woman’s job’ and is something to be enjoyed, It makes my blood boil.
Especially when you’re a woman like me – the breadwinner who brings home the bacon, which is why the dirty jobs always fall to my partner Thomas, 30.
Women’s struggle today is real – we’re juggling more than ever before, but a survey revealed that 72% still do the majority of household chores, according to research by Starling Bank.
‘It’s time for women to step back’
I feel the tension, and I don’t even have kids, which I’m putting off so I can focus on my writing career – so why would I spend all my time doing chores?
But it’s ironic that TikTok’s #tradwife hashtag has racked up hundreds and thousands of views and likes.
It’s surprising and it’s time for women to back off.
Those who claim they actually enjoy their traditional, old-fashioned gender role of being servants by choice – quietly running the house while their husbands hold the purse strings – must be crazy.
They are idiots and they are fooling themselves when they say they like to be available to their colleagues – this is not the 1950s!
They can also put on a maid outfit and be done with it.
‘I earn considerably more’
When I met Thomas in 2018, he was working as an administrative assistant and earning almost double his part-time salary.
Now, we both work full time, but I still earn considerably more than him.
Two years ago we moved in together, and for some unknown reason I fell into the suffocating trap of feeling like I was supposed to be a “good wife” — but I quickly grew tired of it.
I cooked and cleaned, even though I regularly worked 10 hour days, only stopping work to make dinner before returning to my laptop.
I tried to make sure the house was spotless and the refrigerator was fully stocked.
I was so caught up in gender roles and traditional stereotypes that I couldn’t see any other way.
When I was growing up, it was mothers who took on domestic responsibility, so society’s expectations were always on my mind.
‘I felt like I was failing as a wife’
Thomas didn’t expect me to bear the strain – or if he thought so, he didn’t say so.
But every time he touched the vacuum cleaner I felt like I was failing as a wife.
A few months later, and after a particularly long and difficult work week, I didn’t even have the energy to turn on the oven.
I was at my limit and Thomas realized how much I needed to get away from my obligations.
From that day forward, he took on the burden, and although I haven’t picked up a duster in months, our house is tidier than ever.
‘Stop being a doormat!’
I cook from time to time and take care of myself (I’m no slouch!) – but when it comes to doing the dirty work, like cleaning the bathroom, doing the laundry or taking out the trash, it’s my husband, the housekeeper, who does it. that.
Better yet, he seems to enjoy and adapt perfectly to his job as a wine merchant.
If he’s really tired, he won’t need to do things right away – I don’t go around giving him a whip!”
Polly
If he’s really tired, he doesn’t need to do things instantly – I don’t go around cracking a whip!
But he’s really good at realizing what needs to be done and moving on while I can focus on other things – like resting while he mows the lawn.
‘I’m not lazy – I just have better things to do’
It’s not that I’m lazy, I just have better things to do.
It’s time other men were more like Thomas and women who let their partners assign chores to them need to stop being doormats – and start refusing to be ‘mothers’ to their men.”
Thomas adds: “I don’t mind doing all the cleaning.
“If Polly is busy and I have time, I’m happy to take up most of it – I want the house to look nice.
“We are a great couple and we work as a team – we both contribute to the house and the relationship in different ways so that everything balances out in the end.
“I think it should always be as equal as possible between couples – I don’t mind compensating, but I’ve never wanted to be waited on.
“I think men who don’t lift a finger at home should take a good look at themselves and do what’s best for their partners – it’s not hard.”
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story