I’m polyamorous and in a group – we all sleep with other people, but this is the first time I’ve felt safe in a relationship

A polyamorous woman has opened up about her three-way relationship with her girlfriend and boyfriend – and how they all encourage each other to sleep with strangers.

When Florence Bark, 32, started dating her partner, Callum, 39, in early 2024, he had already been casually dating Annie, 40, for a month.

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He shared that he was polyamorous, meaning he had romantic or sexual relationships with multiple partners at the same time.

Together, the three formed a triad. Annie is now Florence’s girlfriend and Callum is their partner.

Florence, who is from London but lives in Los Angeles, said this is the first time she has felt “safe” in a relationship.

The trio has no restrictions and everyone can date other people outside of the relationship.

“I started dating Callum because he liked playing with rope and I wanted to try being tied up,” explained Florence, podcaster and author.

“He was also casually seeing someone else – who is now my girlfriend.

“He said he was seeing another girl, they talked about me and she thought I was really hot.

“I was scared because I had never dated women before, but I knew it was something I wanted to do.”

Florence also began dating Annie, who became his girlfriend as the relationship progressed.

“I liked these two people, they also liked each other and now we are in this triangular relationship,” she said.

Florence wasn’t always polyamorous, but after leaving a “toxic” monogamous relationship, she wanted to explore her sexuality.

“I was in a very restrictive relationship where I had bad sex and wasn’t happy,” she explained.

“Now I’m in a new relationship where I thought, ‘This is really great. I really love him, but there are some other parts of me that I don’t want to part with.’

“I didn’t want to stop myself from exploring things.

One thing we practice in non-monogamy is simply being happy that our partners have experiences with other people.

Florence Bark

“I always thought I would just be ‘monogamous’ [and in an] open relationship – maybe sleeping with someone when my partner was on tour and I was on holiday.”

However, Florence admitted that at the start of their relationship she was jealous of Callum and Annie being together without her.

“They had been seeing each other for a while,” she said.

“When they left, I wasn’t told what they were doing, which was a surprise to me. I was jealous that they were spending this time together.

“It wasn’t a strong, overwhelming feeling like, ‘What are they doing without me?’

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Florence shared how she was feeling with Annie and Callum and they had a frank discussion about their three-way relationship.

“From that first initial conversation, I didn’t feel any jealousy,” she said.

Florence noted that communication is also key when it comes to sex, although Callum doesn’t feel like he needs to know when his girlfriends are being intimate without him.

“My partner is more the type who doesn’t need to know when Annie and I are going out,” she said.

“Me and Annie, on the other hand, at the beginning, we decided that we would tell each other before we left.

“Our deal is that we will always tell each other when we are seeing our other partner, [but] we won’t necessarily go into detail about what we did together.

“One thing we practice in non-monogamy is simply being happy for our partners to have experiences with other people,” she explained.

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“We have equal fun with each other and then we all hang out together, which is so nice and healthy.

“The last two times we went out, we had sex together as a couple.

“It was really good – the most successful trio I’ve ever had.”

Florence also shared how being in a group made her feel a confidence she never felt before.

“I feel so safe for the first time,” she said. “I don’t have any feelings of anxiety about whether I’m good enough or whether this is the relationship for me.

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“I don’t have that anymore. I feel calm and safe. They appear in a way I haven’t experienced before.

“They communicate, they take care of everyone’s needs.”

Although the trio have a loving and fulfilling relationship, they don’t tie themselves together and often go out with other people.

“We all use Field as our main dating app, which is full of non-monogamous people,” Florence said.

“Personally, I have to be prominent in my profile and I think we are all pretty communicative about that from the beginning.

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“Most people we date are not looking for a relationship, but rather a fun, casual date.

“People who aren’t monogamous don’t tend to date people who aren’t monogamous, because we don’t want to lead people on.

She noted that she wouldn’t go on a date with someone who was monogamous unless she “thought it would lead somewhere” and was ready to commit to one person again.

Florence was open with her parents about her sexuality and being in a group, but received mixed responses.

She said her dad was “super cool” about it, but it took a while for her mom to come around to the idea.

“The weird thing is, when I told my dad about it, he was like, ‘Oh, okay, cool,’” she recalled.

“I told my mom about two years ago that I was going to start dating women and she didn’t have the best reaction. Like, ‘That’s not who I thought you were.’

“Obviously, it’s weird to be a father and have your son suddenly say, ‘Oh, I actually like women too.’

“I’m very open with my parents. I just went on a trip with my dad for a month,” she explained. “I was obviously going to tell him about [Callum and Annie].

“He’s really excited for me,” she added.