A BROTHER donated his sperm so his sister-in-law could get pregnant – so he is now her biological son’s uncle.
Adam Zayden, 25, knew his sister Jade, 29, and his wife Eefje, 30, had been trying to get pregnant since 2018 but were unable to find a donor.
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Each time he met them, they seemed “increasingly frustrated” and after three years, Adam suggested he donate his own sperm to Eefje.
She became pregnant after six months of trying – inseminating herself with Jade’s help at home after Adam “had his way” while Jade walked the dog.
Their son, now 16 months old, was born on March 18, 2023, weighing 9 pounds.
Jade says her baby has “my and Adam’s back chin” but mostly looks like Eefje.
Adam, a social media influencer from Newham, London, said: “They were so frustrated with the donation process – it seemed like the right and ‘easy’ thing to do.
“This whole process has made me much closer to my sister and her partner.
“Now they have a son and I’m so happy for them.”
Jade, a researcher and developer, and Eefje, a veterinarian, who lives in Amsterdam, always wanted to have children after they were able to.
“Children were always something Eefje wanted,” Jade said.
“I wasn’t so sure because of our younger sister and how much work it was.
“But in the end, I was so happy to start our little family.
“And I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
They said it was very important for them as a couple to have a child.
Adoption seemed like a long and expensive process – so sperm donation seemed like the most effective route.
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Despite asking some mutual friends to be sperm donors, they all failed.
Instead, they decided to sign up to some “alternative” donation sites.
“They essentially started ‘dating’ a donor,” said Adam, who IS SINGLE? do not have children.
“They live in the Netherlands – artificial insemination is not covered by the health safe so the search can be quite extensive.”
How to become a sperm donor
COUPLES struggling to have a child or same-sex families may need the help of a sperm donation.
A sperm donor needs to undergo some tests before donating.
According to CoParent.co.ukCenters may require donors to:
- Be between 18 and 41 years old
- Agree to be screened for medical conditions
- Be free from any serious medical disability or any sexually transmitted disease
- Be healthy and fit
- Know and provide information about your family’s medical history (parents, grandparents, siblings and children)
- No hereditary diseases in the family
- Do not use any drugs
- Agree that your identity document may be disclosed if requested by any person conceived as a result of your donations, once that person turns 18 years of age.
- Provide proof of identity (copy of passport or driver’s license)
- Be willing to dedicate your time to the sperm donation process
- They have high quality sperm (motility, count and shape).
To find the nearest licensed clinic, check the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA) website.
Eefje and Jade discovered that several sperm donors were asking to conceive the “natural” way – unprotected sex.
Adam said, “They met some Cool people.
“But they had a pretty unfortunate situation where everything was going really well at first.
“They even set up a donation contract with him – which is an agreement where you set your intentions about how you want the donation to work.
“But he literally turned around and said he wanted to do things the ‘natural’ way.
“He wanted to sleep with my sister-in-law – which never amounted to what they wanted.
“It was basically supposed to be a case of him going to the bathroom.
“So my sister-in-law inseminates herself.”
Although they did not have to pay any fees to donors – they often lost money traveling to meet them.
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Eefje and Jade became increasingly frustrated with the process.
“It really was an emotional rollercoaster,” Jade added.
“Because you are opening up in your most vulnerable moments.
“You are essentially welcoming strangers into your life.
“You then depend on strangers to help make one of your biggest dreams come true.”
Eefje said: “You are also being exposed to a lot of potential hate.
“Whether it’s sharing your experience or just in general while looking for a donor.”
In 2021, they called Adam to explain how desperate they were feeling – and asked if he would consider donating his own sperm.
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“They had already joked about me giving them mine,” he added.
“But I didn’t know they were really open to it.
“After all the trials and tribulations, they called me sometime in 2021.
“They basically said, ‘We’re really struggling with these things.’ “And if I agree to this.”
Adam said it was an easy decision to make.
He doesn’t want to have children futureso I thought this would be a good opportunity to help your sister.
“It really wasn’t a big deal,” he said.
“I’m also a queer person and I don’t really see myself having kids.”
Before donating, Adam had to undergo a series of tests to find out if he was a suitable donor.
He had an STD test, which came back positive, as well as having his sperm count checked.
“I discovered that I am very fertile,” he added.
“Which is always fun to find out.”
It wasn’t until we started the process properly that we realized how much better it was to have someone like Adam to help.
Jade
Doctors then asked him to take a “pill” to increase his sperm count – and were told to keep an eye on when Eefje was ovulating.
He said: “Every night during that week-long period, Jade took the dog for a walk.
“I would go upstairs, do my thing and give the sperm to Eefje.”
Adam did this for six to seven days a month between December 2021 and June 2022.
In June 2022, Eefje discovered she was pregnant – just two weeks pregnant – and her baby was born on March 18, 2023.
“I’ve met him a few times,” Adam said.
“I’m his uncle, but I’m known as ‘bibi’. “Hopefully I’ll be ‘bibi Adam’ when he starts talking.
“He’s a very happy, cheerful boy.”
Jade said: “It wasn’t until we started the process properly that we realized how much better it was to have someone like Adam to help.
“It was great to have someone you really know and trust because it’s a really emotional moment.”
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
