AS I looked into the eyes of my handsome 22-year-old boyfriend, I imagined our future together.
Like a scene from a movie, I imagined all the fun times we would surely share.
7
7
The hours of energetic sex, the spontaneous encounters we would enjoy, the new things I could learn from him.
But as he looked at me like an adorable puppy, he took my hand and whispered softly, “You wouldn’t mind doing my laundry, would you? I brought a load with me.
Like many older women, I’ve often wondered if dating a boy toy could be the answer to my relationship prayers.
After all, younger men are great in bed, right? Their libidos are through the roof, they’re eager to learn more, and they’re generally really hot.
What’s more, the conversation will be interesting, you’ll have nights out in super trendy places and you’ll feel years younger.
But I was slowly learning that it wasn’t always like that.
I was 36 when my 22-year-old lover turned out to be more of a needy teenager than a virile man, and now that I’ve reached 50, I’ve finally had enough of younger guys — for good.
In my quest to find Mr. Right, I dated many toy boys.
And, as Bridget Jones might write in her diary, it’s not always a good idea.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when I read that One Day star Leo Woodall, 27, has been cast as Bridget’s toy in Mad About The Boy, the upcoming fourth film in the film franchise.
Lifeless and with dead eyes
While fans are salivating at the idea of 55-year-old Renee Zellweger getting to work with a gorgeous young man, I just can’t accept the hype.
I actually feel sorry for poor Bridget, having to deal with the nightmare that is dating a toy boy.
7
7
There’s no doubt that Leo – and I’m sure the character he will play – is cool, handsome and effortlessly charming, but when you’re in your 50s, a woman needs a lot more than that to maintain a healthy relationship. and stable.
As an incredibly sexual person, my experience with younger men stemmed from my desire to have a loving relationship with someone who resonates with me.
Someone who is as fun, loving, energetic and young at heart as I am.
My experience with younger men stemmed from my desire to have a romantic relationship with someone who resonates with me.
I haven’t found that person yet and I’m still single, but it’s become clearer over the years that toyboys just aren’t where they’re at.
I actually always liked older men, but younger guys seemed to gravitate towards me.
I’m confident and assertive, so I think toyboys saw me as a good fit, an older woman who would take the lead in life – and in the bedroom.
But that’s the one place where it’s not as fun as you might think.
Firstly, in my experience, a toyboy wants a sex guide. Someone to show him the ropes while he sits back and enjoys the ride, if you’ll pardon the expression.
My 22-year-old son, Stuart, was begging me to teach him tantric sex, but he lay there, lifeless and dead-eyed, while I did all the work.
I really wanted to have my own new experiences, but in the bedroom I just took on the role of teacher.
I believe that younger men don’t really understand what to do in the bedroom because sex is just a physical thing for them.
They may have a higher libido, but I have yet to find someone who understands the sensuality and connection that should come from good sex.
Yes, they have more energy, but I’ve always been a “quality over quantity” kind of girl.
I blame a lot of this on porn. From what I’ve seen, men in their twenties are absolutely addicted.
When I was 40, I took a 25-year-old guy I was dating called Michael to a screening of Moulin Rouge, a film released 14 years earlier.
He had never heard of it and I thought it might be a real cultural learning moment for him, but halfway through the film I turned around and saw him watching porn on his cell phone.
I was completely amazed. I couldn’t believe the disrespect. So I got up, left and we never spoke again.
Incidents like this would crush me in that moment as I would watch another boyfriend die, but I would also remind myself to never settle.
When I met Stuart at the gym, I thought he was handsome and fun and I really enjoyed meeting him initially.
Likewise, meeting Michael on a dating app was fun at first, but I quickly realized that I deserve someone who could watch a movie with me for more than 20 minutes without feeling the need to be entertained on their phone.
And that’s the problem. These guys may surprise you at first and seem to love the novelty of dating an older woman, but what happens after the honeymoon period?
How realistic is a long-term relationship if you’re in your late 40s and he suddenly decides he wants kids?
The hard truth is that toyboys don’t always get their happily ever after.
And then it became clear, after a while, that I needed more than the initial buzz of dating a hot young man to maintain a decent relationship.
Domesticated
For me, the main problem I have with toyboys is how quickly you can turn into their mother.
And I can tell you right now that I’m not the kind of woman who finds cooking and cleaning for a man sexy.
When I was in my late 40s, I dated a man, James, who was in his early thirties and still lived with his mother.
The main problem I have with toyboys is how quickly you can turn into their mother
He would come over to my house and wait for dinner to be ready, or I would sit and watch as he endlessly scrolled through his phone, not paying attention to me but instead obsessively liking photos of hot models on Instagram. It was heartbreaking.
My confidence would waver and I would become a shell of myself. It took a long time to break up with him, mainly because of this.
Likewise, Michael thought I would clean up the piles of clothes and food he casually dropped on the floor of my house.
I remember him opening pistachios and dropping the shells like a Hansel and Gretel trail.
These grown men looked like little boys, who had never been house trained and had a complete lack of respect for my space.
There was also the issue of scheduling. Stuart, at 22, just wanted to party, which is fair of him.
Unfortunately, when he called his friends at 1am on a work night to organize parties while I was trying to sleep, that was unfair to me.
After a late night phone call, I threw his clothes out the window in anger and that was the end of the relationship.
If you’re wondering why I kept going back to younger men, like I hadn’t learned my lesson from Stuart, Michael and eventually James, it’s because I like to keep an open mind when it comes to dating and try to give each person the benefit of doubt.
I’m far from the only one who likes a toy. Recently, This Morning’s Alison Hammond, 49, went out with David Putman, a man 20 years her junior.
Madonna, now 65, has had more than her fair share of young lovers, most of them half her age. She is currently dating a 30-year-old football player named Josh Popper.
Then there is Cher, who at 77 is in a relationship with Alexander Edwards, a man 40 years her junior.
I understand why these women get hooked. I too would be caught up in the fun before it all came crashing down.
Unfortunately, it seems that most toyboys are happier having a second mother than a mature girlfriend.
While there are obviously some wonderful younger men out there who I’m sure would make great partners, I think it’s slim pickings.
That’s why I’m committing to only dating older men now.
Mature men have good manners, have life experience, and are more patient.
Many have been married before, so they understand the commitment. They take the lead in bed and make you feel sexy.
I am a curious and intellectual person and as I have gotten older, I have enjoyed the respect, intimacy and knowledge of an older gentleman.
As I continue my dating journey, I recommend other single women avoid toy boys
When I’m with them I get butterflies in my stomach, it’s my turn to feel like a young, giggly girl.
So, as I continue my dating journey, I recommend that other single women avoid toy boys.
Yes, it might be hard to resist them at first, but trust me, when it comes to an interesting and fulfilling relationship, I would stick with the older ones.
- Some names have been changed.
7
7
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
