Lotharios lying, beware! Fib in your dating profile and a secret network of women are sure to discover you.
Relationship seekers are investigating potential suitors through a network of private, women-only Facebook groups called Are we Dating The Same Guy? (AWDTSG).
9
They use the pages to find out if other members have been close to men they met on apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge – as well as to check for romance warning signs.
In fact, some guys have had their photos and details shared so many times on AWDTSG that they’ve become famous.
It turns out that recent figures show that 61 per cent of men use UK singles sites, compared to 39 per cent of women.
Group member Paige Appleby, 29, from Leigh-on-Sea, Essex, was horrified when suspicions that her ex was joking were confirmed on AWDTSG.
The marketing manager, who was seeing Dave, 31, from Putney,
South West London, over three months, provided his details and came across responses from 80 other women revealing they were also dating or in contact with him.
Paige says, “I joined AWDTSG after I broke up with Dave. Things were going well between us. We met online, he met my family and we went on vacation.
“But then I caught him on Instagram with another girl. He insisted she was his sister, but a closer look at social media suggested they had also been together.
“My friend said I should look for him in the group and I thought, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’. ‘He sold us the whole dream’
“Then I saw his face in a photo I took when we were on vacation together.”
Recalling how another member was asking about Dave, Paige said: “The post, from someone else, said: ‘Girls, I’m dating this guy – is there tea? (gossip)’. And I couldn’t keep up with the answers.
“There were women from all over the UK, even America, who were unknowingly dating and sleeping with him – mostly around the same time.
“He invented different lines and false excuses and sold us the dream of being the ideal boyfriend.
“He slept with us without protection and there was even a pregnancy. He was playing with our feelings. It was so confusing.
Paige said another girl’s story sounded all too familiar, with reports of Dave bombarding her at first, painting himself as a genuine guy who wanted to settle down with “The One” and claiming he had “never received female attention.”
But she added: “The comments showed that this was not the case.
“We all looked alike too, so he clearly had a type. It was a lot to deal with.”
Paige told how Dave’s photo became a running joke on the pages of AWDTSG, with comments including: “I see this man more than my own family.”
He added: “It’s hilarious and frustrating that girls are still surprised by him. Thanks to AWDTSG, I also discovered that a supposed prankster was catfishing me and three other girls in the group.”
9
9
The scammer Romeo used a fake profile and someone else’s photos to chat with women.
“The man we believed we were talking to was married with children and obviously had a different name,” explains Paige.
“Some girls looked for the genuine person in the images, who confirmed that they had never had a profile on a dating app. Photos of her were stolen.
Along with general relationship advice and eliminating lies, other AWDTSG stories are more sinister, with women warning about men who may be abusers, scammers, or fraudsters.
Invoking Clare’s Law – the right to know whether your partner has an abusive past – is always recommended in this case or if someone feels they may be in danger.
For Amy, 49, a solicitor from Telford, Shrops, the group was a way to warn others about Andrew, who absconded with his life savings of £57,000 and two cars during a three-year “romance”.
‘He ruined my life, I feel so violated’
Amy, whose name was changed while police investigated her case, says: “He ruined my life and took away my emotional and financial security. I feel so violated.
“I posted what happened and his photo in the AWDTSG groups as a way of trying to prevent him from doing the same to someone else. If it stops another woman from giving you some money, it’s worth it.”
Anna Rowe, 51, co-founder of lovesaid.org, a support group that supports cheated boyfriends, believes the forums are helpful.
The expert, who was also the victim of a romance scammer, says: “From exposing Jack, the boys, to more serious situations, I think AWDTSG groups are brilliant and fundamental to safety.
“And it can work both ways. Some posts ask for information and one woman says: ‘I know this guy, he’s lovely’.”
Paige says: “Groups help girls screen the wrong people and have changed the way I date. I feel sorry for the person I settled with, because every suspicious action will be reported and may end up being reported.”
She added: “I still believe there are good ones out there. I started seeing someone I met at a bar. Fortunately, nothing came up about him in the group.”
*Names have been changed and photos posed by models
9
9
9
9
9
Dating safely on apps
HOW should you stay safe when using dating apps?
Here, expert Anna Rowe gives top tips.
1. CREATE a safe dating profile to ensure you can’t be stalked on other social networks.
Do not use your social media profile photos or any other important identifying information.
two. KEEP the app as your chat method until after your first meeting.
Exchanging contact information like your phone number or email address will leave you vulnerable to harassment if the date doesn’t go well.
You can chat and make audio or video calls on most dating apps.
3. NEVER meet or be picked up at your home.
Arrange to meet in a public place and make sure friends or family know where you are.
Have your phone number with you in case you need to contact them.
4. ON a date, trust your instinct. Listen to all the vibrations you feel.
We have these feelings for a reason.
Don’t ignore them.
5. IF you feel like things are happening too fast, take a step back.
Talk to friends or family about what you’re feeling out of place and get a new perspective on the situation.
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
