A WOMAN has revealed she was invited on a girls’ trip but turned it down because she thinks her friends are “boring”.
The 27-year-old is one of eight friends in the group, who have known each other for more than 10 years, since school.
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Not everyone lives close to each other, but they “get together a few times a year for a weekend” away.
She said “it was a weekend of good food, drinks, hot tubs, etc.”
But as everyone’s lives have changed and different milestones have been reached, she no longer feels like she connects with her friends.
Taking to the Reddit thread titled Am I The A**hole, she asked: “For being honest with my friends by telling them I’m not going away for a weekend because I don’t want to talk about married / babies for three days?”
The author of the post explained how she is “content” with her current life, although she is “single, but dating”, and does not know if she would like to have children.
About five of the friends in the group are “married or in long-term relationships” and two of the five have a child or are pregnant.
She explained how she plans to see her friends later in the year for various events – weddings, baby events, birthdays, etc., but doesn’t want to spend a weekend away with them. She said: “Originally, I didn’t give a reason.
“When questioned personally by my friend, who is pregnant, I told her the truth.
“I’m not going because it’s a huge financial expense, for three days where we only talk about people’s upcoming engagements/weddings/babies.
“I have a lot going on, but I feel like a lot of my friends don’t show interest unless I talk about someone I’m dating.
“Also last time I heard one of my friends talk about her breastfeeding plans, with a vengeance, for over an hour. She is not pregnant or trying.
“In fact, it’s annoying and seems dismissive.”
She added that it feels like a “really expensive way to feel bad” about yourself.
While she admits she is “thrilled” for her friends who are living the lives they want, she feels like “it’s not the weekend for her.”
The post continued: “Which means it appears the group has two distinct life stages, I’m in the minority and they focus on one stage.”
After explaining how she felt, one of the friends said she felt hurt and accused the woman of “not being excited about her or her other friends”.
The Reddit post gained hundreds of comments, one person responding: “I have the same problem haha. I’m 48 years old, single and have no children and I just can’t relate to people my age.
I wouldn’t want to spend a lot of money to spend three days with a group that had such different interests.
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“Whenever I find myself in a situation where it’s women my age, it’s all about marriage, kids, school, etc.”
Another said: “NTA. We all change as we age. You naturally grow apart from some friends, especially if their lifestyle changes drastically (think married with kids, in particular).
“And I don’t think it was wrong to be honest when your friend asked why you wouldn’t go.”
A third wrote: “NTA and what you are experiencing at 27 is what many of us experience too. Lives change, and suddenly some of our friends no longer have much in common with us.
“I casually drifted away from friends because all they talked about was diapers or insisted on taking their kids for a walk.
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Someone agreed with the majority: “NTA. You did it very diplomatically. You’re happy for them, but since you’re not at the same stage, faking excitement over someone’s breast milk is a bit much. I think she heard what you said, but she didn’t actually hear it.
One mother offered an interesting perspective: “NTA. I’m a mother and these friends seem exhausting.
“We complain about the kids, but we also know how to have a night out with the girls and just enjoy having kids/spouses free for the night.
“It seems like you are at different points in your life and the friendship has followed its natural course, at least in physical meetings. Maybe it could still be leveraged for text message updates over the months.”
The original poster added an update to her post, explaining how she “shows interest in your weddings, engagements, babies and baby plans. I get excited about them, I text them about it, I ask for updates, I go and help plan events for those things.”
The “problem” she has is how women will spend three days talking about the same subject she has no interest in.
She concluded: “Finally – some comments about me being jealous, hating myself/my life, etc.
“To confirm, dear strangers on the internet, I am happy – thank you for your concern.”
5 facts about friendship
How many friends do you have and how would you describe your relationships?
- People make hundreds of friends in their lifetime, but only 1 in 12 friendships will last.
- According to the surveythe average person currently has three to five very close friends, 10 to 15 people in their circle.
- People generally don’t have more than two “best friends” at a time.
- Friendships and relationships are the main indicator of joy and happiness, according to one of the oldest studies on human happiness
- Data from 148 studies showed that people with stronger social connections are 50% more likely to survive!
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