I’m the married at first sight sex therapist – see how to increase your orgasm, best time to have sex and eight more tips

WHEN it comes to sex, people are often afraid to ask embarrassing questions.

But Charlene Douglas, sex therapist on TV’s Married At First Sight, has seen and heard it all.

4

4

In her new book she reveals the most common doubts related to sex and offers practical tasks to improve your love life.

Speaking exclusively to The Sun, Charlene says: “When you tell people you’re a sex therapist, they often react with surprise.

“But a lot of my work involves exploring the human mind and helping people overcome obstacles that prevent them from having a healthy sex life.”

From how to orgasm to the best time to have sex, Charlene answers the questions you’re afraid to ask. . .

How can I have an orgasm?

About 80 percent of women struggle to reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone.

Many women can achieve orgasm by playing alone, but have difficulty in relationships due to the pressure of performance.

To resolve these issues, it’s important to take practical steps: spend time massaging your body, create a playlist of relaxing music, introduce sex toys, and focus on the sensations of being touched.

This approach can help women become more in tune with their bodies and reduce anxiety, making it easier to reach orgasm.

Why can’t I keep an erection?

When it comes to sexual dysfunction in men, three main areas stand out: Premature ejaculation, delayed ejaculation and erectile dysfunction (ED).

Although statistics suggest that ED affects older men, many of the younger generation also struggle with it, often due to performance anxiety and past negative sexual experiences.

One young, attractive client resorted to avoiding relationships and another told me how he was haunted by his ex-girlfriend rolling her eyes when he couldn’t carry on.

To avoid worsening ED, partners must be supportive.

The first step for anyone suffering from erectile dysfunction should be to consult a doctor to rule out any medical problems.

How can I last longer in bed?

Premature ejaculation (PE), often occurring just a minute after intercourse, can be a distressing and embarrassing problem for many men – as can delayed ejaculation or the inability to ejaculate, especially for couples trying to get pregnant.

One client was afraid to tell his new partner about his struggle with physical education.

But when he finally confided in her, she told him she preferred oral sex anyway.

They focused on that first, and when she was satisfied, they had sex.

As he relaxed, he lasted longer without even trying.

When is the best time to have sex?

The best times to have sex are usually Friday night and Saturday morning, when people are more relaxed after a long week.

Preferences vary, some like morning sex while others prefer it at night.

4

Hygiene concerns can affect morning intimacy.

Difficulty discussing sexual preferences may indicate broader communication problems.

Communication is key to a healthy sex life and can strengthen your bond.

How often should we have sex?

People often compare themselves to what they consider “normal” when it comes to sex by aiming for a specific number, like twice a week or three times a month.

Statistics suggest that once a week is normal, but remember, it’s about quality, not quantity.

If you have sex once a month and it’s amazing, you’re perfectly fine.

The key is to figure out what works best for you and your partner, rather than adhering to society’s expectations.

Can sex toys ruin real sex?

If you rely too much on your sex toy and aren’t open to other forms of intimacy, this could be a problem.

But sex toys can be great for understanding your body and increasing intimacy with your partner.

Getting creative and including sex toys in your relationship can be fun, especially with visual partners who like to watch.

There are also remote-controlled devices, which are great for couples, especially those in long-distance relationships.

Use them to enhance your intimate experiences, not replace them.

How do we get back to the honeymoon period?

Life is constantly changing and so are we.

What worked in the past may not work now.

4

It’s important to reintroduce playfulness and flirtation into your relationship.

Be intentional about spending quality time together and schedule a date night once a week.

Compliments and genuine attention often go unnoticed amid busy schedules, with work being the main excuse.

Counter this by sending flirty messages or suggestive photos throughout the day to make your partner eager to come home, reminding them of the passion and desire that brought you together in the first place.

How do I get my libido back after having kids?

Many new mothers often feel overwhelmed by the changes in their bodies and struggle to feel sexy or desired.

Raising children is a demanding, full-time job, leaving little room for adult intimacy.

Plus, their hormones are all over the place and they can sometimes feel very emotional and alone.

Partners must be understanding and proactive in scheduling quality time together.

Little things like taking the kids home from work, running a nice bath, and preparing a romantic dinner can help get your partner in the mood.

But it’s important not to put pressure on them, as this will have the opposite effect.

How do I get my sex drive back after menopause?

Many women are taken by surprise by its onset and confuse the symptoms with other problems.

Relationship problems arise when partners misinterpret changes in behavior or libido.

Clients often worry that they have lost sexual desire or attraction to their partners.

I encourage seeking medical advice for diagnosis and treatment.

Honest conversations with your partner are vital.

With the right support and understanding, couples can navigate this difficult time together.

How can I overcome my porn addiction?

Ethical pornography can improve bedroom experiences, but it becomes problematic when it affects relationships.

Increasingly, women turn to pornography and often feel ashamed afterwards.

Excessive consumption can make real sex unpleasant.

One client spent up to five hours a day watching pornography, barricading himself with multiple screens.

Another woman watched the entire holiday weekend and then was so embarrassed she couldn’t face her colleagues when she returned to work.

Loneliness, boredom, and unsatisfactory relationships often drive this behavior.

Therapy focuses on addressing these underlying issues to promote healthier habits and relationships.

• Get Closer: Everything You Ever Wanted to Ask a Sex and Relationship Therapist by Charlene Douglas, (DK) £16.99, is now available from Waterstones, Amazon and bookshop.org.