A mum who kicked her husband out of bed eight years ago due to his “freight train” snoring claims it saved their relationship – and even improved their sex life.
One in six British couples who live together now sleep separately, and more than a third have done so for more than five years, reveals a study by the National Bed Federation found.
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Despite its growing popularity, “sleep divorce” (also known as sleeping in a separate room from your boyfriend) is still seen with negative connotations.
But that’s something self-described “grumpy mom” Alexis Scott wants to change.
Alexis slapped her husband Brian with a sleep divorce ultimatum shortly after getting married in August 2015, as she couldn’t deal with the constant loss of sleep due to his nighttime noises.
The 41-year-old was sleeping just four hours a night and found her sleep deprivation was causing arguments.
Although the couple sleep separately, businessman Alexis said it has improved their sex life as they have “more energy” to be intimate.
Who said sleep divorce can’t be sexy?
Brian, 55, was initially angered by the ultimatum but eventually admitted it’s good for their relationship as he can “snore, fart and roll around without disturbing” his wife.
“He snored like a freight train, it was horrible,” says Alexis.
“I was mad at him, he was the reason I couldn’t sleep.
“I felt bad for being mad at him because he can’t control it, but at the same time it was his fault.
“I was lucky if I managed to fall asleep before him, but I would still be woken up in the middle of the night at some point because his snoring was so loud.
“And if I couldn’t fall asleep before him, good luck falling asleep.
“I was getting maybe four hours of interrupted sleep, it was like a baby being woken up at various times of the night.
“When I don’t sleep I get very emotional and moody, I was very irritable all the time.
The best sleep routine and environment
Thomas Høegh Reisenhus, sleep expert and TEMPUR® sleep advisor, reveals the key components of a good bedtime routine and environment…
A surefire way to facilitate a better night’s sleep is to practice good sleep hygiene.
Establish a sleep routine that works for you and stick to it.
This will help your body establish a consistent and natural sleep-wake cycle, which can do wonders for your overall sleep quality.
As such, try to avoid making up for lost sleep by sleeping in later.
Instead of sleeping in, spend the morning reading a book in bed or drinking coffee in the kitchen.
Make sure your bedroom, bedding and sleepwear are also fit for purpose.
The ideal sleeping environment is dark, quiet and cool – much like a cave.
If you find that unwanted light sources are keeping you awake, consider investing in an eye mask or blackout curtains.
Adding upholstery can be a great way to reduce noise, with surfaces having an absorbent quality, but if that doesn’t work, consider adopting a soft soundtrack to block it out.
In terms of temperature, try to keep your room at 18°C. You can further reduce the risk of waking up due to overheating by ensuring all of your bedding and pajamas are made from natural, breathable materials such as cotton and linen.
Keep in mind that everyone is different; What may work for most, may not work for you!
While knowing how much sleep you should get, how to overcome common barriers, and practicing good sleep hygiene can facilitate a great night’s sleep, if you continue to persistently struggle with sleep or fatigue, don’t hesitate to consult a doctor or healthcare professional. to get support. .
“That caused arguments between us, no one was winning at that time.”
The mother-of-two said she initially moved into a separate bedroom “out of frustration”, before kicking Brian out to the guest room permanently.
“People’s concern is that you won’t find time to be intimate with your spouse,” adds Alexis.
“We certainly find time for that.
People’s concern is that you won’t find time to be intimate with your spouse. We certainly find time for that. We have more energy to be intimate
Alexis Scott
“We have more energy to be intimate.
“Who wants to do that to someone who just wants to suffocate with a pillow because they haven’t slept at all?
“We can have intimate, romantic moments and hugs and all that stuff, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to say I have to sleep next to you.
“There are times in the morning when he goes to bed and I have my coffee and we talk, just like you would if you had slept the night together – the only difference is we don’t sleep in the same room.”
There are times when in the morning he goes to bed and I drink my coffee and we talk, just as you would if you had slept together at night – the only difference is not sleeping in the same room
Alexis Scott
Happier than ever, Alexis says sleeping arrangements are a “huge component” in a successful marriage.
“At first it was out of frustration, I was so upset I couldn’t take it anymore,” she says.
“Then I realized, ‘oh my God, this is actually a solution.’
“I think my husband was a little sad at first, but now he doesn’t want to sleep with me either.
I would argue that sleep divorce is a big component of why we’re still married. This gives us the opportunity to be as rested as possible
Alexis Scott
“He was having to deal with the fact that I wasn’t doing my best, so he would get stressed if he woke me up.
“After I moved in, we were both able to just sleep and not worry about the other person, we were both so much happier.
“I would say it’s a big component of why we’re still married.
“This gives us the opportunity to be as rested as possible, with two well-rested adults comes better communication [and] usually just a happier disposition.
“I don’t resent him, I can be a more loving wife. There’s no going back.”
The separate sleeping arrangements continue even when they go on holiday, with Alexis saying the cost of an extra bedroom is “worth it”.
After the couple’s successful divorce, the mother now encourages other couples to follow suit and not give in to “social pressure” to always share a bed with your boyfriend.
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
