Does being a parent make you feel lonely and exhausted? New research says you’re not alone.

Being a parent, especially when you have a baby or young child, can be isolating. From making sure the bills are paid, the kids are fed, and the house is clean to navigating nap times, illnesses, extracurricular schedules, and busy homework, parenting can leave moms and dads — 66 percent of them, to be more accurate – feeling exhausted and isolated, according to one new national survey conducted by Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

Conducted between April 5 and 7, the survey of 1,005 people found that two-thirds of respondents “felt the demands of parenthood sometimes or often felt isolated and lonely,” and around 62% reported feeling “exhausted for their responsibilities as parents.” ” Nearly 2 in 5 (38%) of respondents said they had no one to support them in their parenting role and 79% expressed interest in connecting with other parents outside of work and home.

Why are parents so lonely and exhausted?

The research was led by Kate Gawlik, associate clinical professor at the Ohio State University College of Nursing and mother of four, who was eager to learn more about the relationship between loneliness and burnout, which she defines as “the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion ”.

“In this particular role as a mother, it’s the ability to never really feel above water,” she tells Yahoo Life. “And then that causes other things to start happening… [like] feeling more disconnected from his children and less like a good father.” She refers to this relationship as a vicious cycle. “Loneliness can really exacerbate a lot of these feelings.”

Parents with babies or toddlers who are constantly surrounded by their children tend to feel more isolated and find it harder to form relationships outside of the home, notes Gawlik. She adds that American parents, in particular, are susceptible to feeling exhausted and alone. “Other countries have [multi-generational] village model, and in the USA we don’t have this model so strongly rooted in our culture and society. … This contributes to burnout,” she says.

The pandemic also played a role. “COVID took so many parents who were working [in] the office and put them at home, and then it was like we never left again, [which] It absolutely exacerbated our loneliness,” adds Gawlik.

Keneisha Sinclair-McBrideClinical psychologist at Boston Children’s Hospital in Massachusetts agrees, pointing out that many adults also lost their in-person social connections during the pandemic and haven’t rebuilt them.

How can parents feel less lonely?

“One of the things we know is an antidote to loneliness is connecting with other people,” says Gawlik.

Both Gawlik and Sinclair-McBride acknowledge that for parents who are already exhausted, it can be difficult to add “making new friends” to their never-ending to-do lists. “This seems like another task that no one has time for, but it can make a lot of things easier,” Sinclair-McBride tells Yahoo Life.

Sinclair-McBride encourages parents who feel lonely to try connecting with other adults using one of these strategies:

Start with what you know

According to Sinclair-McBride, it’s worth trying to renew friendships with people you’ve lost touch with or resuming old hobbies that could create an avenue for meeting new people with similar interests. “What are the things that you like as an individual, as a parent, that can help you build that community?” she says. “Going to mommy and me gym class… [or talking] to another parent on the playground – they can make a difference.”

Sinclair-McBride also wants parents to look for connections within their existing communities, including their child’s child care provider or school and their local neighborhood.

If adults are struggling to make connections in person, Sinclair-McBride encourages them to try online forums or groups. “We are always thinking about influencer culture and the negative effects [of social media]and those are huge, but the [potential] for people who feel like they can’t find community it’s important,” she says. “Sometimes using the internet for good is a really good thing here.”

Take a step back to gain perspective

It may not feel like it when you’re stuck at home with a sick child or during the newborn period, but it won’t always be that way. Parents should know that it is easier to make friends at different stages of raising children. “This is a moment in time. There will be other times when it will be easier to make friends with your parents. You never know, your child might take part in a dance class that is [full of parents who are] your people. Be open to new opportunities as your child grows, which can bring you more opportunities in the community.”

Additionally, Sinclair-McBride wants to remind people that while survey data like this can help parents feel seen, there is also a risk that seeing numbers this high can create stress and cause caregivers or people who think in having children feel that feeling lonely is inevitable. . She hopes parents remember to consider all survey results with caution and remember the idiosyncratic elements of their family and home life that may lessen or increase their feelings of loneliness.

For example, Sinclair-McBride’s oldest daughter attends a school with a vibrant parent community and also has a very active and engaged extended family. These connections and support make Sinclair-McBride feel lucky during this phase of her parenting journey, and she hopes parents realize that feelings of being exhausted and lonely ebb and flow at different stages of parenting and in different circumstances. constantly changing. Parents, she adds, can always empower themselves to make choices that open them up to the community.