Are you feeling alone? If so, you are not alone. Loneliness is an American epidemic, according to US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. A new Yahoo News/YouGov survey of 1,794 U.S. adults, conducted May 10-13, found that 19% of Americans surveyed say they “always” or “often” feel lonely, and 29% say they “sometimes” ” feel, while 50% say they feel lonely. “Rarely” or “never” feel lonely. The research also revealed that there are certain groups that are more likely to experience loneliness.
So what is driving these feelings of isolation? And who is most likely to feel lonely? Here’s what you should know.
Who is the loneliest?
There’s a big difference between loneliness rates and age, according to research. In general, young people are more likely to feel lonely, with 29% of 18-29 year olds and 23% of 30-44 year olds reporting that they “always” or “often” feel lonely, compared to 16% of people between 45 and 64 years old and only 7% of people aged 65 and over.
Women also experience loneliness at slightly higher rates than men: 20% of women surveyed say they feel lonely “always” or “often,” while 17% of men say the same.
When asked what factors they struggle with most, 13% say “not living close to loved ones” has the biggest impact. This was closely followed by 12% who said they were “not in a romantic relationship” and 11% who reported “difficulty making friends” as the driving force. Meanwhile, 11% attributed “spending too much time online” as the cause of their loneliness. For 8% of people, it’s their “unsatisfying romantic relationship” that makes them loneliest, while another 8% say “not having enough time to socialize” is the biggest factor.
Men are more likely to cite “not being in a romantic relationship” as a reason for their loneliness (15%), as well as spending too much time online (13%). Women, on the other hand, are more likely to attribute loneliness to “not spending time with loved ones” (16%) and “difficulty making friends” (14%).
Social networks and loneliness
Anne Rosefounder of Pink Wellbeing, told Yahoo Life she’s surprised more people haven’t reported feeling alone, as it’s been a big problem for her patients. “More participants identified that they never or rarely feel lonely, rather than always or often,” she says. “In my experience as a therapist and as a human being, I constantly see loneliness.”
She’s not surprised, however, who experiences the most loneliness: Gen Z. Rose notes that social media could be to blame, as it “can foster loneliness and create a huge barrier between a person and true connection.” According to the data, 17% of 18- to 29-year-olds surveyed (a combination of Gen Z and millennials) say “spending too much time online” is the biggest contributor to loneliness.
“Typically, I see social media driving this unattainable perfection complex as we endlessly scroll through other people’s highlights,” says Rose. “I firmly believe that loneliness ultimately comes from a lack of relationship with ourselves. The real work is not about creating meaningful relationships with others, but about starting by creating or building a healthy relationship with ourselves.”
Laura Erickson-Schroth, psychiatrist and chief physician at the Jed Foundation, told Yahoo Life that young people’s lives have changed radically since the introduction of smartphones, as they now spend much more time in virtual spaces. While these spaces can be important for building connections people (especially LGBTQ youth and young people of color) may not find where they live, “they are no substitute for in-person community.”
Saba Harouni Lurie, a family therapist in Los Angeles, told Yahoo Life that while social media can give us insight into each other’s lives, it also means we “use a handful of photos and posts to compare” others’ experiences with our own. We may assume that those around us have better relationships than we do, or more vibrant social lives – when in reality, there may be little difference between our lives and theirs. “Social media is designed to make us feel like we’re lacking, so exposure to this type of content can even lead us to convince ourselves that we have less love and support in our lives than we actually do,” she explains.
Loneliness — no matter your reason for experiencing it — can be resolved by stepping out of your comfort zone and meeting others in person, experts say. Instead of connecting with people online, Erickson-Schroth suggests “seeking community and connection” through events and activities in your community, even if you don’t know anyone participating yet. “Join clubs with people who have similar interests,” she says. “Research shows that there are many people who feel lonely and also seek to meet new people.”
