With the rise in popularity of weight loss medications like Ozempic, weight loss discussions are on the rise again. But while some people are open about using weight loss medication – or losing weight as a result of using medication to treat a condition like type 2 diabetes – others consider commenting or speculating about another person’s body to be still taboo.
Barbra Streisand recently found this out the hard way when she asked Bridesmaids star Melissa McCarthy in an Instagram comment if she was taking Ozempic. Commenters called Streisand’s question “rude,” although McCarthy herself later called it a “win” because it meant the singer and actress thought she was OK. And in June, actress Ashley Benson publicized speculation online that she had used Ozempic after giving birth months earlier.
In the new weight loss environment, it can be difficult to know how to balance natural curiosity with good manners. Here’s what the experts — and people whose bodies have changed due to taking weight-loss medications — have to say.
What does it feel like to answer these questions?
Kristi Hedrick says she was “always taught to respect an individual’s privacy and if you notice someone has lost weight, be happy for them and congratulate them.” But when Hedrick lost 40 pounds after using the drugs Ozempic, Mounjaro and Trulicity as a treatment for polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), people started asking questions about how she lost so much weight. “It took a little getting used to,” she tells Yahoo Life, though she adds that she never feels offended when people ask about her weight loss. That said, Hedrick says she’s “certainly not that open” with people she doesn’t know well.
When Dustin Gee lost 55 pounds in six months using Wegovy and following the Mayo Clinic Diet, he started getting questions like “You lost weight, right?” and “What has been your secret?” Gee says he doesn’t care. “It keeps me motivated and makes me feel fulfilled and happy,” he told Yahoo Life. “It means my progress is visible and it has really boosted my confidence.” Most people, he adds, “approach the topic with empathy, avoid assumptions, express genuine concern” and “lead with positive intent.”
Similarly, Katy Schuman Clemens, who has used Ozempic and Mounjaro, says she “feels supported” when people ask her about her 80-pound weight loss and is grateful for the opportunity to share how the medication worked for her, while diet and exercise do not. “They usually ask for themselves because many of us are obese and have some health problems,” she told Yahoo Life. Clemens says she used to think she was “getting fat because of personal failings,” but since starting to take weight-loss medication, she now “thinks of it much more as a health problem that I’m treating” and therefore is no longer something she feels embarrassed.
However, Clemens doesn’t think it’s always appropriate to ask someone about weight loss. “It depends on your relationship,” she says. One of her good friends, for example, recently lost a significant amount of weight due to a serious illness. Sometimes losing weight is “a really, really bad thing, so you shouldn’t assume anything about someone else’s weight loss,” notes Clemens.
Clemens appreciates it when those who are curious let her lead the conversion, asking open-ended questions that put the ball in her court. For example, Clemens prefers it when someone starts the conversation by saying she looks great or asking how she is without commenting on her weight. She is then free to share as much information as she wants, she says.
What a doctor says
Dr. Andrés Acostaassistant professor of medicine at Mayo Clinic and co-founder of the weight loss testing program Fenomix, told Yahoo Life that she has seen a recent shift in attitudes toward obesity and weight loss. “The growing awareness of obesity as a disease has allowed the disease to be taken seriously, eliminating much of the shame that surrounded it,” says Acosta. “With new medicines and research, the stigma of obesity being a moral failure and lack of willpower has significantly diminished, and the public has a better understanding of the complexity of the disease.” As a result, more people are open to discussing weight loss and more people feel comfortable asking questions.
As a supplier, Ascota thinks this is a good thing. Patients are more open to discussing what they have tried in the past, and this allows him to tailor weight loss plans to the patient’s needs. However, that doesn’t mean everyone on the street should start asking questions.
So what’s the new etiquette for asking about weight loss?
“Ozempic and other weight-loss medications have opened a can of worms in terms of etiquette,” etiquette expert Lisa Mirza Grotts tells Yahoo Life. Asking about weight and the use of weight-loss medications “falls into a category of highly personal and potentially invasive questions,” adds etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore. Grotts agrees. In his opinion, asking someone if they are taking Ozempic “goes beyond the bounds of good behavior.”
However, that doesn’t mean it’s always rude to compliment someone who has lost weight. Grotts says it’s okay to keep things positive and say, “You look great,” which opens up the discussion and allows the person who lost weight to elaborate or end the discussion there.
After raising a “gentle prompt for conversation,” pay attention to whether the person “chooses to engage,” advises Rachel Goldberg, therapist and founder of Rachel Goldberg Therapy. “If they respond with a noncommittal ‘Oh, okay’ without further discussion, it’s best to respect their boundaries and not push further,” she says.
Goldberg recommends never asking directly about weight-loss medications unless the person taking them brings up the topic first. “This could be interpreted as suggesting that they would not be able to lose weight without help. Additionally, they may be taking medication for a health problem and the investigation may lead to revelations they did not intend to make,” she explains.
If you’re not sure what to say, it’s best to proceed with caution. “Even if your intention is innocent curiosity,” questions about weight loss can inadvertently make someone uncomfortable, adds Goldberg.
This article was originally published on May 10, 2024 and has been updated.
