I hope you enjoy horror films, dear readers, because British politics is about to turn into a soul-destroying hellscape worthy of Hollywood’s sickest minds.
The coming years will not just be “a little worse”, as many delusional center-right voters have tried to convince themselves. Labor’s imminent ascendancy will be truly calamitous. All conservative nightmares will come true and more. The left-wing stormtroopers who are about to seize the keys to number 10 will enjoy almost unimaginable power and will be far more competent in using it to annihilate their enemies than the Tories ever were.
Consider the following very possible apocalyptic scenario. On Friday morning we could wake up with not just the biggest labor landslide in history, but also to the Liberal Democrats as the official opposition. It would represent the greatest humiliation of the Conservative Party since its founding in 1834. Sir Keir Starmer, as Labor Prime Minister, would face the clown Ed Davey, famous for the Post Office scandal as leader of the opposition at Prime Minister’s Questions. The Conservative leader, whoever he may be, would be left with two questions at the end of the session, by which time most viewers would have lost interest. The shadow chancellor would be a Liberal Democrat.
With Labor strongly ahead in all polls, the real race is for second place in terms of seats in the House of Commons, and it could be extremely close, thanks to the epic implosion of the Conservative Party. Survation, the pollster, believes there is just a 53 per cent chance the Conservatives will end up with more seats than the Liberal Democrats, an ever-shrinking margin of error. YouGov predicts the Conservatives will be just 30 seats ahead of the Davey mob.
Even if the Conservatives gained a few seats – say 10 or 15 – their status as the official opposition, and the funding and privileges that go with it, would remain extremely precarious. The likely scale of the defeat will be crushing for the remaining Conservative MPs. Former top ministers will become obscure non-entities overnight. They will lose their ministerial cars and special advisors, and many will become the butt of jokes. No one will care what they say or do. Few will even return your calls.
The blame game will be wild. The Conservative party will tear itself apart, perhaps even finally realizing that it can no longer be home to both the left-wing, high-tax, woke Remainers and the right-wing, low-tax, anti-woke Brexiteers. Some Conservative MPs could join the Liberal Democrats and others defect to Reform UK, further decreasing the party’s parliamentary numbers and potentially compromising its official opposition status.
Or consider another scenario: what if a group of disillusioned Labor MPs eventually decide to abandon their gigantic group and join the Liberal Democrats? The Liberal Democrats could suddenly overtake the diminished Tory backside. The Conservative parliamentary group will need to be much larger than the Liberal Democrat group if they are to have confidence that they can remain the official opposition for the rest of the next Parliament.
If the Liberal Democrats overtook the Conservatives in terms of seats on Friday, the implication would be that the combined centre-right parties – Conservatives, Reform and Northern Irish Unionists – would represent just 10 per cent of the total in the House of Representatives. Commons, with 90 percent of MPs explicitly left-wing, an unprecedented imbalance.
The British system of parliamentary checks and balances would thus be left in tatters and we would effectively become a one-party state, or at least a state where almost all politicians think exactly the same way. After all, the Liberal Democrats tend to be left-wingers who find it easier, for industrial or cultural reasons in places like Surrey, to get elected under a yellow rosette rather than a red rosette.
The Conservatives would be criticized when it came to the allocation of positions on select committees. The Public Accounts Committee would automatically be chaired by the Liberal Democrats. What would pass parliamentary scrutiny would amount to repeatedly airing the left’s grievances: Starmer would be attacked for not spending enough, for not returning to the EU, for not punishing Israel for fighting evil terrorists, for not raising taxes.
The voices and positions of the center-right and the free market would be almost completely absent. What remains of the Conservative right and Nigel Farage and his small number of reformist MPs would do their best, but they would be shouting from the outside in. As far as the Civil Service is concerned, the Overton window will have closed, and the opinions of millions of people safely ignored.
The same goes for the BBC. If you think that broadcasters are very left-wing today, know that it could be much worse if the Liberal Democrats became the opposition. A matter of time it would end up pitting a Labor MP against a Liberal Democrat, with the Conservatives regularly excluded. The balance of airtime on TV and radio would consist of various shades of left-wing opinion, with the occasional conservative or reformist panelist being suppressed by everyone else.
There is little doubt that a Conservative party relegated to third place in Parliament would embolden Labor in the most dangerous way possible. There is already talk of Starmer appoints Harriet Harman to crucial role of chair of the Equality and Human Rights Commissionreplacing Lady Falkner, one of the heroes of the fight against awakening. A ruthless purge is clearly on the cards, with the already small number of non-leftists in the public sector about to be cut.
Labour, encouraged by the supposed liberal-democratic opposition, would be encouraged to move more quickly and further in a conscious, socialist direction. It would seek to take advantage of the Equality Act to enlist all companies in the fight against “social inequality” through “positive discrimination”. I would double the bet on net zero and the war on cars. I would start copying EU rules, just for the sake of it. It would be much easier to raise taxes in your first Budget, including on wealth, inheritance and property. It would turn a blind eye to illegal immigration and gradually increase legal immigration further, instigated by radical open borders activists in the left-wing parliamentary ranks.
The best that can be hoped for now is that the Conservatives become the official opposition. Could this really be too much to ask?
