Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene took the stage at a weekend political rally in Las Vegas, Nevada, and, in the gentle tone of a dying cicada, made it clear that he sees similarities between convicted criminal Donald Trump and Jesus Christ.
“Democrats and the fake news media want to talk about ‘Trump is a convicted felon,’” she said Sunday, addressing a sweaty crowd of easily fooled Americans. “Do you want to know something? The man I adore is also a convicted criminal. And he was murdered on a Roman cross.”
Well, this makes perfect sense if you ignore all biblical teachings and hold your breath for 10 to 15 minutes.
Trump as Jesus? I’m not sure which Bible Marjorie Taylor Greene is reading.
I don’t remember from my Catholic upbringing the biblical story of Jesus being convicted of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records to cover up an affair with an adult parchment star. Also, “crime” as a legal term it did not emerge until medieval England.
But I would never claim to be an expert on Christianity like Greene. I assume she was referring to a parable from the “NEW New Testament: MAGA Edition,” which makes sense when you consider the fact that before she spoke, the chairman of the Nevada Republican Party said people at the rally gathered to “worship” Trump.
Do Republicans listen to Trump? Guilty Trump’s press conference was a disaster. Republicans need to replace him – quickly.
Nothing moderately disturbing about it. Presumably the First Commandment in the NEW New Testament is: “You shall have no other gods before me, except perhaps a crooked, over-glorified real estate agent who sells red hats.”
Maybe Trump is not the messiah, but could he be “the chosen one”?
If any of these messianic treatments make you uncomfortable, I encourage you to relax. It’s not like the leader of a state political party is treating a twice-indicted, multi-indicted, one-term former president who has to meet with a parole officer on Monday as if he were the chosen one. .
No, that specific distinction goes to a Christian “musician” who recently released a song about Trump called “The Chosen One,” which the former president boasted on his social media site: “Natasha Owens declares former president ‘the chosen one’ with new single.”
Trump, the criminal: Guilty Trump’s press conference was a disaster. Republicans need to replace him – quickly.
The lyrics include sensible lines suggesting that the man a jury found responsible for sexual abuse is also the man God chose to be a “warrior” for “such a time as this.”
Owens, who must think God has a great sense of humor, said in a statement: “We are in a battle between good and evil and I believe that God chose President Trump to fight the evil in our country and the evil in this world. President Trump is ‘the chosen one’.”
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God clearly sent Trump to talk to us about sharks and batteries
Everything is fine. This is all perfectly normal.
I’m 100% sure that if God was looking for an imperfect human vessel to bring a message of hope and love to the masses, he would choose the guy who took the stage at Sunday’s rally/worship session in Nevada, a landlocked state that is in no way in the ocean, and we discussed what would happen if a battery-powered boat started sinking near a shark:
“What would happen if the boat sank under your weight, and you were in the boat and you had a tremendously powerful battery, and the battery was now underwater and there was a shark approximately 10 meters there. In fact, there have been a lot of shark attacks lately, have you noticed? Lots of sharks. I watched some guys justify it today. ‘Well, they weren’t that angry, they bit the young girl’s leg because they weren’t hungry, but they didn’t understand who she was.’ These people are crazy. He said there’s no problem with sharks, they just didn’t understand a young girl swimming now that she was actually decimated and a lot of other people too, a lot of shark attacks. Then there is a shark 10 meters from the boat. Ten yards. Or here. Do I get electrocuted if the boat sinks, the water goes over the battery, the boat sinks, do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump the shark and not get electrocuted?”
Marjorie Taylor Greene’s new messiah is a magnet for criminal stupidity.
And that is God’s honest truth.
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This article originally appeared in USA TODAY: MTG says convicted felon Trump is like Jesus. What Bible is this?
