For 21 years, Krzysztof Alcer and Grzegorz Lepianka have been waiting for Poland to officially recognize their relationship. But as the wait drags on, anger grows and patience wears thin.
The Catholic country’s main ruling party has pledged to legalize civil unions. However, six months into their term, same-sex couples are still unable to marry or register their partnerships in this EU Member State.
And this is despite a December ruling by the European Court of Human Rights condemning Poland for failing to recognize and protect same-sex couples. This followed complaints filed by Alcer and Lepianka, among others.
Recalling what happened when they found out about the decision, Alcer, 44, told AFP: “At that time, we had great hopes, great optimism and we thought things would happen very quickly.
“My hope, my optimism… I don’t have that in me anymore. It’s dead,” he added.
“What remains is frustration and anger.”
– ‘Political games’ –
Prime Minister Donald Tusk included the commitment to civil unions in his Civic Coalition party’s manifesto.
After ousting the right-wing populist Law and Justice (PiS) party in last October’s elections, Tusk promised to press ahead with the legislation “before the end of winter”.
By spring 2024, however, Alcer and Lepianka had not seen any changes.
The conservative PSL farmers’ party, part of the governing coalition, expressed opposition to the project. The resulting dispute within the coalition is believed to be behind the delay.
“It’s terribly sad…,” said 42-year-old Lepianka. “We’re just tossed around like a sack of potatoes.”
He blamed the “political games” of the ruling parties for the legal limbo in which they and other same-sex couples found themselves.
Due to the lack of legislation that recognizes their partnerships, couples resort to civil law contracts to regulate property or inheritance rights.
But this does not exempt them from paying inheritance tax, explained Alcer.
“If I die suddenly, Grzegorz will not be able to pay inheritance tax…,” he said. “It’s so loud he’ll just lose our shared apartment.”
– Going out ‘every day’ –
For Ola and Karolina, being mothers of two children in Poland requires a lot of paperwork.
“Every time I have to explain that I have power of attorney from Ola to take my children to the doctor, to pick them up from kindergarten, to share information about them at daycare,” said Karolina, 34 years old.
“I used to think there would just be a revelation, that I would come out in front of myself, my friends, my family. And now I feel like I do this every day,” she added.
For Ola and Karolina, who have been together for 12 years, marriage equality is their “biggest dream”. They even considered moving abroad to enjoy full rights – but ended up abandoning the idea.
“We have our families here, we have our parents, our apartments, our businesses, our children go to school and we don’t want to run away forever. Yes, we want to live here,” Ola, 41, told AFP.
While the mothers spoke to AFP, the children laughed and played in the room. To protect them, the couple did not want to be identified by their full names.
– 20 years of waiting –
Alcer and Lepianka also considered leaving the country, but ended up deciding to stay.
“There’s a registry office down there,” said Lepianka, pointing outside her apartment in central Warsaw. “We always thought about going there on a Saturday and just getting married.
“When we entered the European Union (in 2004), it seemed to us that this would happen soon. Many years have passed since then and we are exactly where we were,” he added – but his partner disagreed.
“We are not at the same point. We are 20 years older,” said Alcer.
“This situation really took away a lot of happiness from us, a lot of chances for a better life – and that will never come back.”
mmp/amj/jj
