US vice presidential candidate JD Vance’s 2021 comment about “childless hot women who are unhappy with their own lives and the choices they’ve made” put the cat among the pigeons. Well, not so much among the pigeons. pigeons, but certainly among the many women who came out spitting fire for him daring to make such a derogatory comment about women who don’t have children. They criticized his misogyny, his disregard for the choices women make, and his portrayal of childless women. sad people who try to fill their empty lives with their cats (clearly, Vance thinks a whining cat fits his vision of a pathetic, childless woman much better than a barking dog).
Vance’s remark was obviously political in nature, intended to disparage women leaders of the liberal Democratic group – women like Vice President Kamala Harris, for example – who do not have biological children. However, there is no doubt that it arose from her deeply held belief that there is something missing in women who do not have children. That they are incomplete, incompetent, socially detached and therefore unworthy of respect.
Just contempt and pity for childless women
Sound familiar? Of course! We Indian women are very familiar with this belief system. So much so that we could be forgiven for wondering what the outcry over Vance’s comment means. Damn, the guy just verbalized his belief in the most offensive way he could, but isn’t that exactly the hostility that childless women in our society are subjected to? Which makes us wonder whether Vance’s excellent opinion about childless women was also reinforced by his Indian wife Usha, who is a serious procreator and has had three children.
But let’s not speculate. Let’s stick to the facts. And the fact is that every Indian woman who has not had a child – whether by choice, for medical reasons or for any other reason, whether affluent or disadvantaged, whether staying in an urban skyscraper or a rural hovel – is treated with contempt, pity and, in some cases, murderous cruelty. (We’re talking about married women here, because, chhi chhi, no one expects single women to have children. Additionally, single women face another level of derision).
‘Born a Woman, Suffer Like One’
Of course, having children is a perfectly natural life choice. But for some strange reason, not having children is considered monstrously unnatural. Try telling your nosy aunt or your overly friendly neighbor that you saw the misery and exhaustion of your friends who were new mothers, their eyes empty with insomnia; you’ve seen them give up their careers for their kids or become wracked with guilt because they went back to work. And no thanks, this life isn’t for you – you’d rather be childless and carefree. Said aunt and neighbor will be horrified by your perversity, by your unfeminine rejection of the reproductive instinct. You were born a woman, damn it, you might as well go through the pain of being one!
If you want to shock them a little more, you can say that you would rather spend the money you earn on yourself, go on vacation, and be able to have a better lifestyle than you would have if you had a child. After this blatant expression of sinful self-centeredness, they will probably avoid you altogether.
As a childless woman, I can tell you that if you wish not to have a child, your reproductive years will be marked as follows: First, gentle questions from female relatives about when you will give them the “good news.” gentle questions about why the “good news” is not available. Third, reassurances that you still have plenty of time to become a mother — and why not see this fertility doctor if, you know, that’s the problem. And finally, the phase when friends and relatives realize that you really have no intention of reproducing and, however unlikely it may be, are happy with the choice you made.
In fact, women without children should get tax breaks
But wait, remaining child-free does not mean you will be free from pitying looks and insinuations that you are an unhappy woman who failed to achieve the true fulfillment of your womanhood by failing to produce a child. Depending on your social, cultural and economic environment, reactions can vary from being rejected as a baanjh (barren woman), to molten commiseration at your so-called misfortune, to raging resentment if you were so bold as to declare that you have no regrets about not having children, that you enjoy your free status and thank your lucky stars that you don’t have any. It is not necessary to spend an arm and a leg to send your child (or children) to study abroad, nor leave them to a world that is staggering towards climate catastrophe.
With birth rates falling sharply in the West (the share of US adults under 50 who are childless and likely never to have children has increased from 37% in 2018 to 47% in 2023), it could be argued that Some people there have reason to be concerned that more and more women are not following the path of procreation. But there is no such problem in India. It is true that global fertility rates are falling here too, but we are still a long way from reducing the burden of our population and reaching a point where, say, 2 million people are not applying for 60,000 railway jobs. In fact, what childless women in this country should receive is not hostility, but tax incentives for not increasing population growth!
But there is a high probability of this happening – even if the current Finance Minister is replaced by another. Still, people like Vance in this country will have to get used to the idea that as women achieve greater levels of education and financial independence, many more will choose not to have children. Yes, it’s fun to blame women for everything they do or don’t do, but we’re quickly reaching a stage where we don’t give a shit.
In the meantime, hold my uterus – I’m going to a pet store to buy a cat.
(Shuma Raha is a journalist and author)
Disclaimer: These are the personal opinions of the author
This story originally appeared on Ndtv.com read the full story
