“SORRY, I won’t be going into the office today, but I was kicked in the head by a horse and I’m currently in the hospital suffering from a concussion.”
As excuses for not showing up to work go, you have to say this one is pretty solid.
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If I were the boss receiving it, I would nod – because I am wholeheartedly – perhaps adding a “GWS” (get well soon) to my response.
I would probably be equally receptive if I got a call from a staff member who declared they were suffering from cancer and I would mind keeping them off the roster for a while while they dealt with the damn thing.
No problem. Just be sure to let HR know so they can flag you in sick.
By now you’ve caught up with me and realized that the people I’m referring to here are current members of the Royal Family.
Princess Anne remains “unable to remember” exactly what happened when one of her horses hit her this week.
King Charles has yet to return to full duty as he battles his unnamed cancer — the same goes for Kate Middleton.
However, what unites these royals is not just their illnesses – and, my goodness, what heartbreaking bad luck for a family – but their attitude towards them.
Anne is apparently desperate to return to work and is only doing so “on the advice of her doctor”, the Palace said.
You may wonder what that job is, but suffice it to say that she has carried out 457 engagements in 2023, more than any other royal – mostly meeting ordinary Brits who are delighted to see her.
Likewise, King Charles was characteristically irritated at having to reduce his schedule and did so again after just two months of cancer treatment.
The same goes for Kate who, despite numerous health problems, managed to participate in Trooping the Color.
These people are not working for the money (They will achieve this anyway, thanks to the annual Sovereign Grant of £86.3 million).
Nor are they doing everything out of love.
For every jovial conversation with an inspiring charity, there are numerous tedious encounters with foreign dignitaries at stuffy banquets.
No, royalty appears because they have a tremendous work ethic, taught from birth (and, yes, often in place of love, but that’s another column!).
‘Minimal Mondays’
They call it “duty” or “duty,” but at the end of the day it’s about getting up, firing the inner cylinders, and getting on with the job without complaining (unless the ballpoint pen you were given doesn’t work, of course). .
Compare this perspective with that of millennial and Gen Z workers, some of whom see work as just a major inconvenience.
This is a generation that invented the concept of “jobs for lazy girls,” “quiet quitting,” and “minimal” Mondays.
A workforce that sees even simple instructions as microaggressions.
They don’t hesitate to email or text – they never call – with some spurious reason why they won’t arrive on time, or at all.
They range from the disconcerting “it’s too hot today” to my all-time favorite “sorry I’m late, I had to have sex with my wife”.
On the surface, you would think that getting more of your life back is a good thing.
But this new code is about getting away with the bare minimum – if you show up.
Research by the Health and Safety Executive showed that those claiming stress, depression or anxiety took an average of 20 days off a year.
That’s a whole month.
No wonder productivity in Britain is stagnant – 16% below that of the US and Germany.
I wrote here last week that AI would soon make all our jobs redundant and we could sit back and do it all.
But this utopia will take some time to arrive.
Until that happens, we still need to get out there and put in the effort.
If a guy who is currently being treated for a disease that kills 460 Britons a day can cope, then surely the rest of us can too.
It looks like Taylor might want to give forever
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I COULDN’T make it to Taylor Swift’s recent Wembley shows (my friendship bracelet making kit didn’t arrive in time).
But I was touched by everyone’s stories about how much the show meant to them — especially Piers Morgan cutely discovering his inner Swiftie.
And yes, there were also stories of sky-high priced products and all the usual avarice that accompanies this kind of corporate pop show.
However, I most enjoyed the accounts of the many charities to which the billionaire partygoer has discreetly diverted money while traveling the country.
You don’t get many superstars who spread their money around like that and — as their mostly Gen Z fanbase would say — I’m here for it.
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SOME concerns that England midfielder Phil Foden will not be back in time for our crucial match against Slovakia on Sunday after he flew back to the UK to be there for the arrival of his baby son.
Allow me to calm your nerves.
Despite looking like a baby, this is 24-year-old Phil’s THIRD child, so he knows very well what to expect now the newborn is in the world.
After about 45 minutes of changing meconium-sprayed diapers and becoming completely useless, he’ll be back on that plane to Germany before you can say, “Southgate out!”
Debate Winner Robert
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REAL heroes are few and far between, but let’s all give Robert Blackstock a quick standing ovation.
The 73-year-old retiree captured the nation’s mood when he asked Keir Starmer and Rishi Sunak in Wednesday night’s BBC leaders’ debate: “Are you two really the best we have to be Prime Minister of our great country? ”
It was a cry/laugh emoji moment and the most insightful intervention in this never-ending campaign.
But it wasn’t just a standout moment because Mr Blackstock spoke so perfectly for each of us – it was also the simple fact that he was able to do so.
Sometimes one might think that our politics could not be more corrupt, filled as it is with self-aggrandizing charlatans who are betting on their own downfall.
But at least we live in a functioning democracy that allows its citizens to publicly shame their leaders with little or no response.
If Mr Blackstock tried this in Putin’s government Russia or his crazy counterpart, Kim Jong Un, in North Korea, he would be attacked by a group of goons wearing sunglasses, never to be seen again.
I LOVED the heatwave this week.
The rancid reservoir of stagnant water in my backyard fire pit — which has been there for about three months — has completely evaporated, saving me the horrible job of emptying it.
Now all I need is a quick monsoon to come wash the car and a Cool typhoon to pull out all those weeds I can’t be bothered to deal with.
It’s up to you, Zeus.
Cheddy, steady, go…!
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AS a dedicated Turophile – who is a “cheese lover” with new money – it was no surprise to hear this week that Cheddar is still Britain’s favorite cheese.
There’s nothing like a bite of extra ripe or vintage – a slice of Black Bomber on the lips has the ability to stroke your soul.
But that News once again I was irritated by the fact that we hardly celebrate our cheese in this country no way.
Go to Amsterdam and you won’t be able to travel to shops dedicated to selling plastic-wrapped Gouda – an unsophisticated hard cheese.
The other weekend I even saw a store in Dusseldorf that sold exclusively German cheese, all packaged as if it were a precious metal rather than the collection of aged milk solids that it actually was.
It’s about time we start celebrating one of our most delicious foods.
Let’s put GRATE in Britain.
Gas don’t laugh at me
I came home from work the other night and saw a car with its emergency lights on and two idiots sitting in the front, sucking and laughing gas balloons.
This pair of space cadets stayed there for a long time, inhaling cylinders with catering capabilities – and, naturally, depositing the empty barrels on the sidewalk for me to take care of (they could go in the recyclingI wondered?)
I’m sick of seeing people littering the streets with these miserable cans that look like spent tank shells.
The use of nitrous oxide has finally become illegal and is now classified as a Class C drug.
So, theoretically, the police should crack down on these things and make arrests.
But do you think we’ll see this happen when there are much more important things to do, like stealing from people who are rude on Twitter?
Do not make me laugh.
This story originally appeared on The-sun.com read the full story
