NFL fans are used to seeing Tom Brady involved in a big Sunday night event. However, after retiring two years ago, the seven-time Super Bowl champion no longer plays any football games.
Previously, Brady was targeted by opposing defenders on a Sunday night. But for Netflix’s live event, “The Roast of Tom Brady, aka The Greatest Roast of All Time,” the quarterback was attacked by several former teammates and comedians, including Rob Gronkowski, Kevin Hart, Julian Edelman , Bert Kreischer, Tom Segura. , Randy Moss and Jeff Ross.
But the show began with a joke probably more familiar to football fans than followers of celebrity culture. Bill Belichick appeared on camera, telling someone, “The fans want you. Everybody wants you. But it’s not your night. Sorry, Drew.”
We then see that he is talking to Drew Bledsoe, former New England Patriots quarterback and Brady’s predecessor at the position before he was injured. And the man of the night enters the scene.
“Brady,” Belichick said. “You’re in. Let’s go.”
“Are you kidding me?” Bledsoe groaned. “Again?”
That basically set the tone for the night. Easy jokes and lots of F-bombs.
As expected at a celebrity event, Brady and Gisele Bündchen’s divorce was a frequent subject of jokes. Furthermore, as might be expected, many of them are unsuitable for documentation here.
One of the best was during presenter Kevin Hart’s opening. Mocking Brady for apparently choosing his football career over marriage, Hart said, “When you get a chance to go 8-9 and all it will cost is your wife and your children, you have to do this.”
Joke about the NFL Draft, but not about Robert Kraft
There can’t be a celebrity roast without Jeff Ross. The “Roastmaster General” has been insulting celebrities on television for 20 years. Taking the stage with a shirt that said “Roast J Simpson” on the back, Ross finally poked fun at an important part of the Tom Brady legend.
“Tom ended up taking 199th overall in the NFL Draft,” Ross said. “It sat there for days, waiting and waiting, and then you finally got picked in the sixth round when Bill Belichick’s dog stepped on the keyboard by accident.”
However, Ross may have crossed a line with Brady when he referenced Patriots owner Robert Kraft and the massage parlor scandal he was involved in in 2019.
“Don’t do that shit again,” Brady said in Ross’ ear after the joke.
Drew Bledsoe Gets Revenge, Part One
Bledsoe earning a place in football history by losing his job as the starting quarterback was the subject of many jokes. But after joking that he hated Brady for taking his job, Bledsoe took a shot at Belichick, a now-unemployed NFL coach.
“Who is more hateable than the most successful quarterback of all time? I mean, except maybe Belichick,” Bledsoe said. “There were rumors that Coach Belichick would be here tonight. Turns out he has some time on his hands. Look, at least when I got fired, someone wanted me.”
Drew Bledsoe Gets Revenge, Part Two
As mentioned, Brady’s divorce and low NFL Draft status were two constant objects of ridicule. Bledsoe knocked them both down with a single throw.
“Look, buddy, you have more rings than I do,” Bledsoe said. “But I experienced some things you will never experience: the feeling of being the number 1 overall draft pick in the NFL and a 28th wedding anniversary. It was yesterday.”
Gronk is still taking hits
Rob Gronkowski was the second most popular target of jokes after Brady on Sunday night. Most of the jokes focused on Gronk’s intelligence. The best of them came from comedian Nikki Glaser, who probably had the best material on the show.
Tom lost $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that?” Glaser said. “Even Gronk said, ‘I know this isn’t real money.'”
Gronk took the stage and hit Brady, Hart, Belichick and Edeleman. He ended his set by sharing a short with Brady and Belichick followed, of course, by a shot at the glass.
This preceded another surprise moment with a round of shots. Patriots owner Robert Kraft took the stage alongside Belichick and praised him as “the greatest coach in the history of the game,” then shared a shot with his former coach.
When everything was almost ready, after more than three hours, Brady was introduced by a surprise guest – his biggest NFL rival, Peyton Manning.
“It’s great to see the greatest coach in NFL history, Bill Belichick, here,” Manning said. “For those who don’t know, the coach will do some work on Eli and my show ‘Monday Night Football.’ year.
“I have to tell you, it’s going to be incredible. Eli and I are super excited and this will give Coach Belichick something he hasn’t had in a while: a chance to be around quarterbacks he respects.”
Brady gets the last word
Then Brady finally got his turn. And he immediately turned his attention to Manning.
“I know you live in Denver sometimes,” Brady said. “And sometimes you live in Louisiana. But you will always live in my shadow.
He didn’t finish.
“When I heard there was a slow-moving white Bronco coming down the 405 to come here tonight, I thought we might actually see a true football legend,” Brady continued.
He soon turned his attention to almost everyone on stage, including Gronkowski and Moss. He saved one of the night’s boldest jokes for Bledsoe.
“Like the rest of America, I will always remember where I was on that fateful day in September 2001 when, tragically, those two jets struck Drew Bledsoe,” Brady said.
He had a message for New York Giants fans and Eli Manning, who he lost to twice in the Super Bowl.
“Fuck Eli and fuck you too. Twice.”
He gave a sly wave to Roger Goodell and deflated.
“The NFL spent $20 million and found that it was more ‘likely’ than not, that I was ‘generally’ aware that someone may have deflated my footballs. You could have just given me the 20 million and I would have just said I did it.
And he ended, of course, with jokes at Belichick’s expense.
“You are a true coaching genius,” Brady said. “You had to choose between an aging, injured, well-paid Drew Bledsoe and a healthy young star making minimum wage. I could have hired the fucking Foxboro high school coach to make that decision. …
“I’ve been out of the game for a minute, so I’m curious. How many Super Bowl rings have you won since I left? Maybe it’s not just the guy on the sideline. When I go to the Indy 500, I don’t ask the winning driver ‘hey, who filled up your car?
Brady compiled a 251-82 regular season record and 35-13 postseason record during his 23-year NFL career. Whether he gets another victory or defeat depends on how funny viewers found these jokes. Whether these viewers gained or lost by watching “The Greatest Roast Ever” is another question worth asking.
