Phone Cooler Makers Need to Chill About All the Ice

I don’t know about you, but when I have a nasty hot phone case, I have to get rid of that heat right now. Just kidding, I usually turn it off for a while or restart it when it’s especially stubborn. But there are companies out there that sell a different solution: small fans for cooling phones that aim to dissipate all that heat. And their product images are a little, uh, overly frosty.

How did this happen? What started this arms race of increasingly cold phones? I have to assume things started innocently enough, but these RGB-filled things are aimed squarely at gamers – I guess it didn’t take long for these product shots to emerge. snowball in the totally unreal images on Amazon today.

In this scenario I invented, this Trakxy Magnetic Phone Cooler for Gaming This is what our patient zero would be like. The tasteful use of a blue phone and blue highlights circling the fan tells me everything I need to know about this magnetically attached fan.

Some light frost here and a few icicles. Maybe a little excessive, but I don’t think I would look at it lavender disc and rightly divine his purpose otherwise, that he may be approved.

Of course they have them for iPads, also. At first glance, this image is quite harmless. Until you look at the digital display. Is Teesso claiming this thing will make your tablet five below zero? I’m not sure I want that!

This is where things really start to get worse. Black Shark Claims This will reduce the temperature of your phone by “up to 35°C”.

At least This one Comes with finger warmers. Very attentive.

How does the low opacity snowflake pattern overlay This one.

And now, here is the final boss. The phone cooler to end all phone coolers. One that no one has ever written a negative review about because their fingers are too frozen to do so. I present the Yanism magnetic cell phone cooler.